"Hi! I'm new" and f***ing confused

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I just bumped into the Wikipedia page by sheer fluke literally a 2 hours ago. Someone on another internet forum mentioned Asperger's as a "non-disease" or BS excuse or something like that so I googled just to see wtf he was going on about (I've never even heard of Asperger's till today). As I was reading the symptoms and causes I kept thinking "heh, he's right - it's not a disease, this is just like me - garden variety shy, awkward". But something kept nagging at me so I clicked through to here just to make double sure and re-assure myself and ho. Ly. s**t. So I did a quiz (which I don't even know is or isn't credible) rdosDOTnet Aspie-quiz.php and it came back with some numbers and like a "You are more than likely Aspie" which is a pet name for the condition I gathered as I was reading that result.

Anyway I saw some lady posted here about her husband being aloof and cold and apart from his obsession being over Buddhism it could just as well have been my wife complaining about me, to me, as I switch off and begin to think about something else altogether. My wife is always telling me I'm a geek and super distracted and 'intellectual' and use speech that's makes her "feel stupid and small" and I always used to think she's just overly sensitive and just doesn't inform herself properly and has different interests to mine, like Dan Brown, pop music and soap operas and such, and I'm (in retrospect perhaps obsessively?) into radical politics and computer science and general knowledge and engineering and current affairs and "snobby" music and "thick" books and indy/"foreign" (foreign to Americans but just plain Japanese, French and Russian cinematographic masterpiece) films and documentaries and... Well generally I thought I was a taste snob and she's was more conventional is all there was to it. But now...

I'm not sure what I got. I have no idea how severe it is. But I do know things about myself and I can relate to what people are saying about it here. I've all of a sudden become so vulnerable - I'm not sure if I can even self-diagnose correctly because it might be this thing skews your perception on reality or something. f**k. I could have analyzed anything 2 hours ago now I can't even figure myself out.

Sorry if I'm rambling but my head is still spinning (it's so weird cause I recently came across Gelotophobia - usually abnormal fear of others laughing at you - which I snarked off as "non-disease", too, at first but now I'm beginning to think I might have a mild case of that, as well)

I don't know if I can call myself autistic. Certainly socially awkward but I never thought of myself as disabled or having a disability (I don't even know if autism counts as a disability I'm just assuming so I hope no one takes offense). I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I cook, clean, hold a job. I just don't do tax returns and car mechanics and s**t like that too well. I don't even know if that's my condition or just me being a lazy dumb-ass. Feels so weird even saying that word - "condition". I just found out about all this and I'm still in a state of shock. If someone can confirm if that quiz is any good or credible I'd appreciate that.

I don't know if I'm being a total noob here or not but I feel like a new born baby and I'd appreciate someone posting some links to some resources that they found helpful when they were at this stage or know of some information that is appropriate for unsure or in a state of denial or false positive or noob or whatever I am people like me.

Thanks in advance.

Yep, it is real. RDOS is good at spoting them.

I hit the same thing at 59, and while I would never change, one of the traits, it has helped me understand what are called Neurotypical people. I had always thought they were just shallow, but they are the majority, and we are different.

It is also an incurable lifetime condition, so there is nothing to worry about.

Back to the herd, no one just takes and interest in something, non job related. No one would spend years learning about something just because it caught their interest. We do have Special Interests, Splinter Skills, and often an advanced self education.

Having made a study of Asperger's Autism, it's me, and I will keep it.

So Welcome to Wrong Planet, great place,

First of all those quiz's can indeed be useful but remember that it isn't a diagnosis, just an indicator, the best known is the aspie quiz which you did, I think that ones the best,

there's also the AQ test http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

and the serveity test (you'll need to remember what you were like as a child for this one) http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

And have a look at the Gillberg criteria for aspergers http://www.bbbautism.com/asp_gillberg.htm

a good book is "the complete guide to aspergers syndrome" by Tony Attwood

A good website is the National Autistic Society http://www.autism.org.uk/ which has a lot of articles and basic resources, good info.

I know that feeling when someone calls you out on "talking smart". My stepdad got irritated at me a few days ago for quoting Shakespeare, and later he freaked when I was saying that my bean plants germinated. I almost got grounded for polietely correcting him when he called a protoceratops a triceratops.

Welcome to WrongPlanet. I have horrible coulrophobia, but your avatar made me laugh.

Thank you GammaGeek, Phonic and Inventor for the welcome. It all falls into place. Thanks Phonic for the resources. I've sort of calmed down now and I will definitely take Phonic up on finding a trained professional to establish a diagnosis, severity etc. There's a lot of stigma out there from what I've read about this being a "phony disease" so I'll need to suss out the psychiatrists that they don't dismiss it outright but also don't take advantage of me for "treatment" because, quiet frankly, outside of feeling like an outsider I am actually quiet accustomed to being myself and even happy. I need to fix things with my wife, though...

I forgot to say - I am 32 and I'd like to know which are appropriate categories here for 32yo noob?

Hi unsure79,

I've only just arrived on the WrongPlanet as well. I'm in the process of being formally diagnosed by a psychologist to determine whether I have Aspergers. However, like Inventer said above, "it's me, and I will keep it". I hope that I am diagnosed as an Aspie. It would just make so much sense of my chaotic past, and I at 41 years old, I can then finally start being myself. I always felt odd, different, didn't quite fit. It will be good to know that there is a reason why.

Might I suggest you take a look at the Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> Computers, Math, Science, and Technology forum, as you say you are into computer science. I'm sure you will fit into quite a few forums around here. I'm still checking them all out too.

Enjoy, be yourself, and I hope to see you around the forums sometime.

Kind regards,

Ron.

Hi Ron.

Thanks for taking the time. I don't think I'll be taking you up on that Wrong Planet Autism Forum Index -> Computers, Math, Science, and Technology suggestion quite yet as part of my problem is that I am actually obsessing over those at the moment.

I would much rather be discussion on how to try and find other ways of defusing my compulsion because the reason I am so distracted with my wife to begin with is that I am constantly on the internet reading and discussing about these things or working on them.

I am at a point where I'd much prefer to give it a rest for a while, I just can't seem to let go and I'd rather get input from people on how to achieve that than give in even more into my interests. At least for the time being until I get a grip on this thing and figure it out.

Thanks again and I hope to see you around the forums, too.

Kind regards,

u79

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

Welcome!

Great, I better make sure that my wife doesn't see that, or she'll be expecting me to be weaned off the Internet and computers as well. You're definitely further along on your journey than I am.