Hi, I am new here

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Joined: 12 Apr 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 1

13 Apr 2011, 11:18 pm

After thinking long and hard about 25 years of my social experiences, my austic brother, my brother with ADHD and a lot of other mental illnesses that run in both sided of my family I began researching this a couple of months ago and finally have came to the conclusion I have aspergers's. I function pretty normally I don't think I want an offical dignoses for health insurance reasons and I think labels can do more harm than good sometimes.
I am much better at socailizing because I work in sales and have had to learn how to interact with most people, which is basically parroting the lines and acts of others. For the longest time I would not make eye contact with people, if someone would say "how are you?" I use to think "Well, why are you asking do I look sick or something I'm obviously healthy why are you asking?" Daily interaction with most people is like taking a multiple choice pop quiz.
So my main thing I hope to achieve here is how much should I change in order to have a fulling life and at what point do I say NO to accepting cultural norms of interacting with other people. Information is power and hopefully I'll learn more from everyone here.

auntblabby
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14 Apr 2011, 2:24 am

hiya msdoglover23
welcome to la cosa aspie nostra
i'm very reluctant to tell anybody they must change to suit anybody else, but to make your interaction with the wider world go more smoothly you'll have to learn to strategically "fake it" well enough to avoid immediate detection, at least until you can get hired and find a place to live. that means in any kind of mixed company, you'll have to develop a very gray facade in which nothing obvious stands out, IOW [per ben franklin] "it's better to keep silent and as a fool be thought about, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." [it rhymes, sorta, which makes it as easy to remember as in "if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit."]
anyways, that is how i cope with the outer world, to slight success. i managed to be gray enough to get hired, and by the time i passed my probationary period, only then did my coworkers discover me to be seriously weird, and by then it was too late to get rid of me [civil service protected me a lot]. i'd recommend civil service employment for this reason.

LostAlien
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14 Apr 2011, 7:22 am

Welcome

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PM's welcome.

BTDT
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14 Apr 2011, 7:22 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I find it helps to realize that many NTs are not looking for accurate answers!

Quite the contrary, an NT will often go around looking for advice until he finds someone who will agree with him, rather than take the time to learn why everyone disagrees with him!

IamTheWalrus
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