Hello! I'm Joanna from Southern California

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I haven't been officially diagnosed with Asperger's, though I have a strong suspicion that I have it. I used to think I had Tourette's, but anytime I shared my suspicion with others they would dismiss me and often laugh. They would also laugh, however, when I experienced facial tics or inexplicibly needed to run up the stairs or say nonsensical sounds. Bastards. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15, which may had led to a more accurate diagnosis (my depression was rooted in a lack of social skills and impulse control) but because the diagnosis was thrust upon me in a short period period of time and I had not wanted it, and because I was placed (for a very short time) in a psychiatric hospital, I was sort of turned off by the whole thing and just insisted to everyone I was normal and acted it, to the best of my ability.

I had finally found out more about Asperger's from the OASIS book, which I had come across while putting away books in the library (what an aspie sort of job I have, haha I just realized). One thing it mentioned was that people with Asperger's can sound like they have a foreign accent; I know I do. People I've just met will ask me where I'm from, and it gets thicker when I'm nervous or over the phone. Anyone reading this have the same thing?

The foreign accent gets me called dorky, especially when people know I'm a rabid anglophile. I'm obsessed with an English band called Blur, and particularly with it's lead singer, Damon Albarn. He's also the voice of Gorillaz... and I would be talking about him for ever and ever if someone let me. (I did that with a date once... and he never called me back... eh whatever). I seriously spend at least 5 hours a day thinking about him. I make everything about him, somehow, and I've been doing it for like, 4 years. I practically majored in Damon Albarn obsession (I studied Studio Art). I did painting after painting, and I would draw him constantly. I even traveled to London (where he lives) and studied at Goldsmiths' (where he went to school), like a crazy stalker. But after it all I met him and he gave me a kiss for my troubles! Am I talking too much about Damon Albarn? Sorry.

See even this is about Damon Albarn. geez.

Before him it was Fight Club and before that it was Radiohead and before that it was The X-files. I also like chickens and roosters and other birds like owls and ducks, particularly the yellow rubber kind, I have a lot.

What's concerning me right now is the distance between me and other people. I've always been the quiet one, which, if I want to be quiet, is no problem. But when I want to speak up I do so awkwardly, I think I miss nonverbal cues or something (but doesn't everyone, really? I don't know). It hurts me really, to think I've gone through 4 years of college and have made only very few friends, like... 2 or 3.

Welcome foxwrapped!

I get the same as you with the accent. I don't sound foreign but people always ask me where I'm from in Denmark, they just can't hear it.

I also had a huge fascination with a muscician - danish - years ago. I also met him, but he thought I wanted to have sex with him, which I didn't. I just wanted to know him, be close to him and for him to know me.

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

Hey Joanna.

hi *wave*

At least you made 2 friends in college. I had like, NO friends in college. It changed over the years, but I still don't find it really easy to make friends. Don't worry too much about it. As time goes by, you'll change (we all do), but there's nothing wrong with going on about a subject (you've never seen some of my posts), and there's nothing wrong about talking when you want to talk. Lately, I've been beginning to wonder about the "social cue" thing. I don't usually make eye contact with people, except when I first meet them, and I'm told I cut people off, but it's stopped bothering me. I guess that's not very good advice, but the only way you learn is by doing, and if you fall on your face a few times, so what, you just keep trying, and eventually, you get it right.
Welcome and cheers.
BTDT
Rafe