77 year old new member, struggling with son's disabilities

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Hi - I am 77 years young, and have only one off-spring, a 44 year old son. He was identified at grade 3 as having difficulties and differences, which I had noticed. He went all the way through school with an IEP and special ed classes, but nothing made any difference. He is above average in intelligence, decent and honest. He has had many minimum wage jobs, losing most of them through his inability to communicate, and chit chat etc. For most of his life I have sort counseling for myself to see how best to help him. He has not worked for 5 years, and except for a short spell of DSHS help, and some unemployment, he has had had no income. His Dad is 85, and we are paying his rent (low income) and his expenses. He is waiting for a SS Disability hearing, as he has been turned down several times. One person listening to me suggested he has Asperger's. On looking it up I was also convinced. He currently has a diagnosis of severe depression, Asperger's. ADD-combined, Schizoid Personality Disorder, etc. At our age and the fact that he has no relatives except in UK, Australia, and S. Africa, we are very afraid of what will happen to him when we are gone. Does anyone have a similar situation, and if so would be very interested in hearing how you cope.

Your son sounds like me. We are only apart by three years but have similar back grounds. I have always lived with my parents I depend on my father for rides to work but I am laid off right now.

I'm so glad you care so much about your son. For years, my mom just kept blaming my underemployment on my being "stubborn and lazy" (I work very part time). She refuses to read any books about AS even google "Aspergers" to this date (although she said she has "accepted" my diagnosis)

Good luck- Have you checked out vocational rehabilitation services where you live? Unlike Social Security, they actually train your son to perform a job that's a good fit for him (that requires very little in the way of social chit-chat). Where I live it's hard to get services based on AS alone but if there are multiple issues involved, it's somewhat easier. I was told that if I keep applying, I may get in the program but I'm also looking at other options for myself as well.

please know that you're doing all you can do. i wish you had been my parents.

no one cared about me, spent most of my time in a pool hall as a kid, the manager used to let me stay in the drunk room after i would clean up. i was able to join the military at 17 and exist.

wish i could offer advice. other than a relative or friend you could trust to administer what you leave him..........

good luck to you.

So sad your son sounds like me im 52 was kicked out by my dad over a year ago my mom ":i think" has come to accept me as i am my dad never. It's sad that my mom and dad had to go tru my hard life without knowing what was wrong with me (I have been going to dr. for this my whole life) and why i could not just get in line. i have no freinds my wife and 11 year old want nothing to do with me . i have asked god to take me now for over 2 years but ether hes an as*hole or a nice fairy tail but i am still here RATS i wish your son the best but when your gone he may be left to the state to try and take care of or like me wandering lost homeless and so so alone

I might have been the same way too, but by the time I was sixteen I was so sick of the domestic goings on that I left. Dropped out of university, left home, took a guitar and a packpack and hit the road.

It took another thirty-five years for reality to catch up with me.

Welcome!

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

To WrongPlanet!! !