tired of being different

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Hello folks. First post. Tonight I was crying because there is nobody I can talk to, then I remembered Aspergers. i hope this is finally somewhere I fit in.

diagnosis?
Just before my 19 year marriage ended my wife (a nurse) was reading an article on Aspergers and said excitedly,"this is you!!" It certainly explained all the ways I was different - which did not cause the marriage to end (that's another story) but it didn't help. So I took some online tests and scored VERY highly. I saw the local specialist, but he refused to say either yes or no: he said all the scientific literature relates to children, and adults develop too many coping mechanisms so he had a policy of never diagnosing adults, but he said I could refer my employer to him if I wanted. (I wish I was a specialist! You don't diagnose anything, you just talk to people and get 100,000 a year for it. But I digress.)

why now
I thought no more of it until this month, particularly today, when two major themes in my life came crashing down. First, I finally finished a major project I've been working on since I was a child. I am immensely proud of it, it,s a massive feat of intellectual achievement and could revolutionize the world (he said, modestly), but I realize that all that effort is wasted because nobody else will understand it. To me it is elegant and simple, but my ability to explain it to others is zero. The second issue is dating. I have always been lonely, and always imagines that somewhere out there are lonely women who would like to meet someone like me - I'm tall, intelligent, gentle, and would serve and worship any woman who would give me the time of day. But for the last four months of dating I've realized that I am just very, very different. My marriage was not an aberration - any woman would be the same, I have nothing in common with any women, and attempts to explain myself just reinforce the differences.

today
The last 42 years points unfailingly to two conclusions: I will be single forever, and my life's work is wasted. The only times when things seemed to go well is when people thought I was something other than I am (i.e. the first week of dating is always great, then they realize we have nothing in common and it always goes downhill. I can't even explain to my family, as they don't get it. I went on a forum dedicated to lonely people for a few weeks, and it became abundantly clear that I don't fit in there. I went on a forum for daters, and people started to think I was some kind of dangerous crazy person, because they could not follow my logic so they assumed I was hiding something.

Today it all came to a head, I spent hours searching for somewhere on the Net where they understand what it is like to be different, then I remembered the Aspergers. Maybe here at last is somewhere I fit? I do hope so.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thanks. I like the name wrong planet - it totally describes how I have always felt. So far the place feels like home. I hope that continues.

That sounds promising, hope it stays that way for you. Welcome to WrongPlanet

VIVE LA DIFFÉRENCE

Welcome to WP.

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

Welcome to Wrongplanet.

Thanks for the welcomes! I like how people here tend to write in short sentences and say what they mean. That's how I write. I think it unnerves people - they are used to more social writing - chatting about familiar things, writing that reinforces existing beliefs. But if you think differently that is not really an option.

Oh, I do hope in time to come you will be able to change your name. Welcome.

It's an accurate description, but I will change it if it upsets people. How does one change a username?

Last edited by trappedinhell on 16 May 2011, 4:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To WrongPlanet!! !

The name does not offend me. I know what it is like to be there. I am simply hoping that life gets better for you.

Thanks.

Welcome!