Hi - yet another one I hear you cry?

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Hi there, My names Colin from south london,

yes were all coming out of the woodwork today.

well i found my way to you today and probably opened up 38 years of confusion in my life via my local newspaper. It had a full front page report regarding someones loss recently of a son who committed suicide sadly. It also listed the details of AS which immediately struck bells with me. Within about half an hour I found your site an I can honestly say it feels warm and nice to actually "understand that part of myself" id not really understood before. so many thanks for the quality of the website first an to the active participation with which people here are posting.
everyones points and queries are making so much sense as to why parts of my life have never as other peoples have lead.

Over the last 18 years of my 38 ive suffered a lot of loss both in relationship and family causing chornic depressions on top of what I now know was AS earlier an obviously continuing in my life. however reading AS information today has been like "awakening" that hidden understanding of what parts of my teeeeeenny brain neeed work on now.

anyhow just an ickle bit about me.. I will always love my music, and my PC (i think its now part of me - or would be if I had the opportunity), im addicted recently to a lot of US TV shows like 24, LOST, etc etc however due to depression ive now got very little interests apart from my job so more specialist which is Video games however i just DONT play them i find them really boring now ( so samey all the time + nothing original) - But im in distribution so a good knowledge of the market place and history is great. other wise if its a subject that ive got an interest in I always attain a high ATD and seem to want to lock in an resource as much information as I can.

my previous hobbies which have come and gone -drawing + sketching, photography, music production, ex D+D player in my teens, video games but never any sports.


I recluse myself a lot now days and dont lead an independent life, Ive had a few relationships but I split from my last one as both of us were heavliy depressed and i also lost my mother a few years ago to cancer and recenly my father is now diagnosed too and hence I live with him.
I do find the task of living alone ahead of me a very daunting prospect as I can never focus to process most of my day to day tasks and find myself so easily distracted into doing other less self productive things like looking up something on the net for a few hours thats interested me in the day and not completing basic important tasks.

Ive got a bout 5 freinds in my social circle outside of work and find sparking conversation with strangers extremely hard face to face.. however via the internet i work marvels (so i definitely suffer the eye to eye contact / body language/ socially inept problem)

anyhow ive rambled enough an im sure you will squeeze more of me out in the near future.

Im obvoiously not diagnosed with AS as of yet but the sign from my personal life in totality shout bells at me that its very likely so i will be returning to the docs (who in london are about as useless as a screw with no thread) to see what they say.

many thanks for finally shining a ray of light in the darkness after soooo maaaanny yeeeaarrrs!! !

i look forward to you all sometime soon.

(BTW is there a better night for using the chatrooms when more people gather regularly perhaps and havea Q+A session?

Colin

yeah dud ethat south london kid story is on the home page....it is good to have that ahaaaa moment and undertand where you fit inot your own life.
good luck in your new journey.

Bugger off, you're not wanted. (j/k)

Hi Colin. Welcome home - I've always known I was AS, so I can't imagine what it must be like to be someone who hasn't known. Good luck on your journey, and I hope to read more of your ramblings in the near future.

Hello and welcome Colin.

I'm new(ish) here too. I hope you find it helpful - I have.

BTW I think 5 friends is pretty good going

Welcome Colin to Wrongplanet.

Hi Colin

Ian from Scotland here

It took me even longer to 'see the light' about AS as I'm 47 and only read about all the symptoms on the net last month.
I'd always had an idea I was 'singing from a different songbook'
but I met people through work and I think I must have subconsciously adopted a different 'persona' because in other social circumstances I get irrational anxiety and all the other traits.Most friendships outside of work would only get so far and then I'd wonder what went wrong. I also became obsessive about working
too hard and that led to tiredness and loss of concentration
Funny thing is,now I know exactly what the problem is there's
at least a chance to try and adjust. I used to scoff at things like
books on 'body language' but now they make sense !
This website has been a good help already and I'm sure you'll find
the same

Hi, Colin!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

Hi Colin,

I more or less became fully aware of my AS only 3 days ago. I've been on this site 2 hours and have felt quite at home. Take it easy.

James

P.S. I agree 5 friends is more than I have

OMG this is so true of me also... i end up with lots of work pals and few home life ones. so I dont get to KNOW totally the work ones and they wont ever get to know me throughly. but i know where your coming from adn exactly what your saying and that sometimes leads to further depression especially on the way home at the end of the day knowing your going home from a buzzing environment to .... nobody.. <sigh
>

hey JJ well welcome along too.. hope you find as much use here as I did.

btw my five freinds ill be lucky to see once a month at least or even catch on the phone due to distance and work etc. so its not rosy lol. <have to see a funny side to eveything> only 2 of them are close freinds 3 are LDRs' <long distance relationships> and that in my book doesnt help when your lonlely..