Some New Guy

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Hello everybody,

Been hanging out here for awhile, seen a few things I'd like to comment on and had some ideas I'd like to get other people's thoughts on, so I figured I'd...uh...join the aspie party. How's that for an oxymoron?

I was reluctant to start out in "getting to know each other," since I've experienced numerous times that anyone who thinks they want to meet me hasn't met me, but it kinda seemed like the thing to do.

My story in typical in the overall plot line, but the details are pretty weird. I'm in my mid fifties, and I've spent most of my life trying to figure out why people dislike me so much. I'm concerned about one of my daughters, who in first grade provided the best description of Asperger's I've run across: "I always be nice to people, but nobody wants to be my friend."

I used to treasure my uniqueness and all that good stuff, but that was long ago. My life is so boring I feel sorry for my dog. Things seem headed to get worse, where boredom in physical comfort will seem like a fantasy. I've been there before. I don't want to go back, especially if it won't end till I do.

Symptoms? When I was working for the circus, nobody understood why I was always listening to audio tapes of Hamlet, MacBeth, and King Lear; not that they much cared, as long as they didn't have to be around me when we weren't working. In army basic training, one guy, totally exasperated, told me, "I never knowed nobody that could be so smart and so stupid at the same time."

For a long time I was hoping if I figured out what was wrong, it would be something I could fix. Like they say in the army, "Wish in one hand and s--t in the other, and see which one fills up first."

One good thing about understanding Asperger's. It's freed me from regret. So many times I'd look back over past events that went bad and think: "If I'd only said this," or "If I'd only done that."

It's clear now that nothing I could have said or done would have made a difference, simply because it was me saying or doing it.

You'll hear from me.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Like your oxymoron.

Welcome to amongst the great movers and shakers of this world, the apsies.

Paul

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

"I never knowed nobody that could be so smart and so stupid at the same time." ???

maybe this sounds better:

"I never knew anybody that could be so smart and so stupid at the same time."

Glad you landed on the planet...it has been a great help and comfort to me(and I dont even "know" if I am AS)....Your daughter summed up my experience....I was very religious at that age because jesus seemed like a nice guy and I took the "golden rule" very literally and could never figure out why other people could be so mean when I was trying to be nice...I'm 42 and it still doesnt make much sense....For awhile,I thought I was like Jobb and God was just testing me(he can be pretty mean too), or that the Devil had picked me out to make miserable because I was a "believer"....got fed up with the whole thing and decided "agnostic" was safer....lol

I am in process of getting a DX right now...not sure why I bother...I know it cant be "fixed" but learning I am not alone in alot of "traits" weither I am AS or not,has been alot of help to my self-esteem.I am hoping that if I do get a DX they can help me figure out some better job options...because I cant seem to do this on my own,just cant think clearly about it...

Anyway...welcome(I am one talky chick....)lol

"I never knowed nobody that could be so smart and so stupid at the same time."

I love it, and it totally works. I also just joined, hopefully I'll see you around friend.

Hi, I'm Mark.

When I was a kid I complained of bordom and was told I needed to get used to it, so guess what I did.


"Mark, you're smart enough to know better." I've been tryin' my whole life to be smart enough to know better.

Welcome to the WP.

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

i would of thought of being an aspie and a father would be an oxymoron.

I said that I had kids. I could not be considered a father.

Normal guys get it really bad in the feminist heaven called family court and their "mental health" sister organizations. These are the people who talk about "trust your impressions," so just imagine. None of their male sonderkommandos are going to risk their jobs. That's how they got there. Imagine how they'd treat an aspie male and you'd be exactly right. The school bully has been appointed principal.

I'm all for equality, but this has nothing to do with equality.

Of course males and their children have to suffer unless they're gay, in which case they're considered allies, but the suffering of children is defined out of existence, and feminists making males suffer is like rednecks watching football.

I was a father once. Years pass like leaves floating by in a river. Pain stays unmoving like rocks in the stream. Asperger's sucks.

O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;
No more of that.

King Lear

I "think" I am a feminist?(How are they defining it these days...I dont even wear a bra to burn...to uncomfortable)and I have to agree that the court system is unfair to men on issues of children and spousel support.The irony is that its based on old fashioned stereotypes about the genders.(How feminist is that?)....I think people who want to perpetuate out dated concepts of families maybe more responsible for this then "feminists" but I admittedly dont know,having never been to court over this issue.I dated one guy who had custody of his daughter but I dont know if the mother decided she didnt want her?I date someone now who shares custody of his son and I think he is glad he doesnt have full time responsibility.....It should definitely a case by case situation....and a child should only be denied access to a parent if they have been abusive to them.

Hey Krex

I already decided you're a decent person, so it's good for me to run into a decent person type feminist. My brain, with whatever shreds of sanity I've got, recognizes that all feminists can't really be as bad as I perceive them to be.

There are parts of what I could call my operating belief system that I know could not be true, yet they still manage to act as parts of my belief system. How I could be effectively believing things that I know could not be true is something I don't fully understand. Habit, maybe, and too much time alone with the same thoughts running around my head like rocks in a steel coffee can.

You're right, it is odd that traditional gender roles remain locked into the basic assumptions of the system.

I don't think I should be saying stuff that's obviously offensive to somebody that's always acted decent, like you. Something in my brain still works a little, anyway, some feral instinct of decency, the last lights burning when the power goes off.

Obviously, my views have been shaped by my experiences...

"Nothing left but a fierce cunning and illiterate hate." - Loren Eiseley

but again:

"O, that way madness lies; let me shun that;
No more of that." - King Lear

I may be as crazy as they made me out to be. No, not that crazy;

"You may tell the king that I am only mad north by northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw." - Hamlet

Sometimes I'm trying to work my way through this, but it's not obvious why. Self knowlege has its proponents, but for me it ain't done s**t.

I wasnt offended by what you wrote...I have read enough of your posts to gleen you are just hurting on this issue and are a careing person at heart(do aspies have hearts?....ponderponderponder...yep)
I have never had children.....I can only equate it with my cats and if some "ex" did anything to try and seperate them from me by destorting the trueth....aaarrrgggg....pertty sure I would be homicdal.I dont useually sport the label "feminist"....I hardly relate to women...most of them hate me,for some reason which illudes me...but I know I am female by genetic fluk and would like to be treated as a "being(hate to use the term...human....given what those bastards have been up to for the past thousands of years)

Any who...no hard feelings here....

hiya,

welcome to the wrongplanet, please do not be alramed.

I don't have a clue about females, and i live in fostercare (mostally females careers?) so i can't exactally say thta i have a typical family backgraound.

I have only met a few people who have tried to come between me and lion, most of them have ended up getting bitten either bye me or buy lion, others have just be growled at everytime i saw them for a few years. The last person who triesd to put lion in the washing machine got bitten and growled at.

krex, i know what you mean about the name human..... i prefer being called a jamie

hope you like the site, and the comnity.

^licks^

jammie & lion