Hello, new one here, and with lots of questions!

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First of all, hello, I'm Alhna (not my real name, but even my name is weird). Second, I'm from Argentina, and mostly self-taught when it comes to English, so if I make a mistake, kindly point it, because I know there are still some little issues. And third, I spoke about suspecting me as an asperger just yesterday, and got full of doubts, but also, it soothed me. I tend to be an emotional wreck, and even after years of therapy, is hard to control my moods. You break my routine, or point some social or working mistake, and I'll just fall apart, even if 5 minutes before I was happy and calm. I tend to panic over the smallest things, and don't consider myself social at all.

Talking with my mom about one of those mistakes, I confessed, with panic, that I'd read about some autistic syndrome... and she said "asperger" immediatly. After that, we started talking, and I researched without fear for the first time of my life about it, and with her. I felt that if I said that I felt autistic people would hush me out and say "you are making up sicknesses", or something, but it was quite the opposite. Suddenly, lots of things started to make sense, and for the first time, I felt I was somehow spared of the weight of some traits I can't control. Is a liberation to feel that having the attention spawn of a mosquito is not a sin, or that maybe yes, I just can't understand people faces and feel that everybody looks bad at me. That yes, maybe I really can't control some speech issues (is harder to talk properly and join sentences to tell a story than to write it, and TRY to stop me when I start talking about something I love, like computers), and yes, I can struggle when people gives me oral instructions, base of lots of problems at work. And yet, I look just slightly weird, I somehow manage quite well. People says "yes, she's inteligent but weird...", "yes, she cute and polite, but...". I learnt,as probably lots of others here, to imitate, to look pretty and cute, to speak well and tell funny stories and make people laugh. Of course is not just a facade, but talking about it for the first time with my mother, I found it amazing that she really learnt social skills without having to imitate as I. She just learnt, without having to think.

Looking even deeper, we realized that if it's a genetic trait, I got it from my father. We talked about that a lot today, and yes, he was the typical asperger boy, but 50 years ago, and in this country, he got misdiagnosed, and sedated with awful things. I was never sedated, but too many times psychologist miss the point and said all kind of ridiculous things. Funny thing is my first visit was when I was three, because my parents suspected autism, and the psychologist , after looking at me, say "her problem is that the parents are divorcing". Oh yeah, in about... 10 years! you have the magic crystal ball! In a couple days I'm going to my actual psychologist with my mom, to talk about it, and I'm kinda nervous, because I was never diagnosed, and I've been with her for about 3 years.

And yeah, I talk a lot, don't feel obliged to read it all I'm just like in the middle of a revelation, and well, yeah, one of my most notorious traits is the obssesive one. And the talkativensss!

Wow, totally how I am. My family called me a motor mouth when I was a little kid. I would get so excited about a topic, I still do actually. I think you are brilliant and really neat. I'm starting to see a lot of people who can share some of my own challanges too.

I wish you best of luck in your journey for answers!

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

Greetings and welcome to WP! Your English is very good. Congratulations on learning it so well yourself. I don't write much, but tend to talk a lot, if the subject is one that I like. And that is almost everything!

Welcome to WP!

I must admit I pasted the text in Word and checked spelling double letters sometimes drive me crazy, I place them in the wrong place! I talk a lot, but when I write I'm neat and can check again and again if I'm making sense. Plus, I don't have to wait for the other to answer so I don't have to worry about talking too much, too little, too akward...

By the way, I said to my mother the phrase "motor mouth", and I think she'll call me that from now on... I never noticed I do that! well, some place inside my head knew that, but still, is not like I really realized it!