Hi I am brand new as of today to this forum and I am so glad that I found you all. I have spent my life thinking that I was just a shy kid to realizing that I do have Asperger's. I have not officially been diagnosed but I am pretty confident that this is my problem. My whole life I have been a shy kid. My family moved a lot just because my dad was unsettled. And no he was not in the military. My family also had problems so I did my best to look normal and act normal even though I was not. I was often bullied in school and I remember wishing someone would intervene, but no one ever did. As I got older, I became an angry kid. I resented my Dad and became overly attached to my Mom. When my Mom was unable to take care of me anymore, I was on my own and completely lost as a teenager. My life has been a series of lost relationships, being abuse in 2 marriages and all the while not understanding why people would not accept me. When I was in college, I survived the stress because I obsessed about studying. I wanted the high grades to prove that I was smart and I did earn them. However I went into the mental health field and when eventually became educated to become a clinician then I crashed and was unable to continue in this profession. Now I work in a job where I am in groups all the time. The more I stay in this job the more I hate it. My clients realize that I feel this way and they give me looks like I don't care about them. This is further from the truth. The truth is I do care but I don't know how to converse with them. I really want to meet people in my area that also have Asperger's I also am really seeking a place where I can fit in. I am thankful that this forum is hear because I feel I have been on the Wrong Planet for my whole life.
As a child one of my favorite games to play was pretending I was from somewhere else. I enjoyed thinking by myself of places I had been and what it would be like. I have wanted to fit in for a long time. I am now in my 40s and still am a social misfit.
06 Aug 2011, 5:32 pm
