Hi there. I am an NT married to an undiagnosed Aspie. We found out he was Aspie when our 11 years-old daughter was diagnosed, three years ago. We've been married for 16 years now.
If your husband is in denial I do not think getting a diagnosis will help. Besides, it is very difficult for adults with AS: 1) to get a diagnosis, 2) to get appropriate help. If you think he has AS it will help you understand him better and take his needs in consideration. There is no treatment or cure for AS. The best he can do is get meds to handle the issues associated with AS like depression, anxiety, lack of attention, etc. I do not know if there is behavior modification therapy for adults. It works great on kids, but I do not know about adults. Good luck, and welcome to WP.