Advice

Post Reply New Topic

Hi,

I suspect that I may have aspergers syndrome for many reasons! One reason is that i have never had a girlfrind b4 ( i am in my early twenties). I have worked out how to attract girls, but it never goes any further as once they get to know me they are not interested. I find it really hard to have an interesting conversation with people ( small talk). People say that I am too serious ( I need to lighten up, smile more, get a sense of humour, am too rational) . I am good with computers ( obsessed?), and although I am a good programmer, I would rather use computers for fun ( eg games, listening to music, online dating , surfing). I also find that I enjoy looking up information on the internet - i find it relaxing. If i spend too much time with people I get soo tired, and have to spend some time on my own ( ie i get overloaded, although this is a typical of introversion).

I feel I am the typical definition of a nerd ( ie high intelligence, low social skills), but I dont sit in the house every nite, as I really want to meet other people.

Also I find that I am tired a lot of the time, and end up just wanting to go to bed ( like at 9pm) , even though I cant sleep then! Also a lot of the time i cant be bothered doing anything - everything is boring (which if you've never experienced that is a nightmare) ! !

I also have issues with my parents, especially my mother. She tends to smother me - eg the other day she asked me to make sure I was wearing deoderant!! ! I also get very very angry with her for no logical reason - and it upsets me sometimes as i dont know why i am cross with her. I suspect I may subconciously blame her for my situation ( but im not sure). My father also displays autistic traits to an extreme - eg he will say nothing for hours then just repeat the last fragment of what some one else has said (ie echolalia).

A few stories:

1. At school i had hardly any friends because I was so quiet. I simply just didnt talk to anyone (because I didnt know what to say), even though I tried - I usually just end up asking a list of questions!! Class discussions were a nightmare - i never participated and nearly failed some classes esp english because of that. It takes me a longer than usual to work things out ( but trust me I when I say I am VERY intelligent!), thus by the time Ive worked out what to say its too late ( i always think of what i should have said later). Is this an issue with aspergers? I feel that I am like an old car - it takes me a while to get up to top speed, but once I get there I can usually go further and faster than most new cars!! ! ( ie i never think of the right thing to say at the time, but I can come up with ideas later)

2. I seem to have an issue with the way in which my mind stores memories. From observing other people, I find that they can give a detailed description of a situation, which makes the story interesting. I find that I simply do not have access to this information, thus when I try to tell a story, i leave out so many key details as to make it boring, and end up being corrected by some one who has also experienced the situation.

3. I HATE the sound of my own voice.....

4. I find it easier to think and rationalise when my concious is not as active (eg last think at night when I am about to fall asleep)!

5. In the past I have totally misinterperted social cues. Eg me and my friend both liked this girl when I was about 12, and i noticed my friend was getting on really well with her - they were playfully punching each other. So the next time i saw her i went up to her and punched her on the arm, and ended up hurting her but i cant remember whether or not i meant to punch her hard, or it was jus an accident...

6. I remember walking home frm school one time and these guys were annoying me... one of them said "if you ever do that again to my f'ing brother Ill .....", to which I replied "is your brother not a little to young for that (f'ing)! !! ! But again I cant remb whether i was deliberatly being a smartass..

Ok so thats somethin to go on!

Does all this sound like aspergers or simply a case of depression mixed with poor social skills!? Im especially interested in the quietness aspect - is this common for some one with aspergers syndrome. Is it possible for a NT just to be shy, and then get depressed that he cant relate to people, thus forming the behavioural patterns associated with Aspergers? In this case, through CBT it would be possible to be "cured"?

Thanks
Dave

P2006 the way I am in relation to society is a result of my AS, not the other way round.

Are you saying because of how you are socially and otherwise, you have developed AS? And bourne on this premise, you believe it can be cured?

AS is something you are born with. It is high functioning autism. The only "cure" would be to figure out the causes to begin with.

I score very high on the AS tests and was very grateful to have a name for the way I am. That being said, I am very happy with the way I am.

An interesting note is, most of the engineers and computer tech in the Silicon Valley are AS. Studies are being made right now to figure out why that is.

Oh, I am so sorry, Welcome to this wonderful board!! I will look forward to getting to know you more!

What i was trying to say was perhaps I dont have AS, I am simply shy, and as a consquence my behavioural patterns are closely related to those displayed by people with AS. Thus, because I dont have AS, i could be retrained to lose those patterns.

What I wanted to know is, from the information I gave, does it seem like I have AS.

Dave

Welcome. I don't know if you're AS or not from what you've described. I also wondered if I were more the product of my environment than of nature, but the physical manifestations of AS were the key for me, e.g., audio/visual distractions such as noises (some that no one else even hears) or bright lights being debilitating to me. Also, the fact that my body is comfortable in positions usually seen only in Cirque du Soleil. If you haven't already, read lots of the posts here. They were invaluable to me in figuring out that, yep, I am an Aspie. As other people have described, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place for me. If you are too, you are definitely in the right place here.

Of course even a doctor can't tell from an Internet posting if somebody has AS.

It sounds like whether you do or not, the advice given to people with AS might help you too.

If you said you have a special interest, something that you've dedicated your life to, then I'd be more likely to say you probably have it.

This is a question that many of us asked ourselves. As renegade has said, you can look for physical traits. For me it was hand flapping, a strange oddity that I had since I could remember, and the fact that I was always getting headaches in movie theaters (both rather minor problems, compared to my social difficulties). However, absence of such obvious traits means nothing. Another good thing is to talk to your parents about your childhood. If you displayed an aspie behavior, they surely had noticed it, possibly from your young age.

I sincerely wish you that you find your answer. Uncertainty is difficult. I don't think that anyone can diagnose you here, but many are willing to help, so please don't hesitate to post about yourself (or on any other topics). Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I'm pretty sure you're AS. You sound exactly like it to me.

I went through the same stuff you did, and for a lot longer than you did, wondering if I was just naturally introspective, awkward and shy, but otherwise normal and just the product of some hideous childhood trauma I couldn't remember, or if there was something more fundamentally wrong going on (particularly ever since I saw "Rain Man" so many moons ago)..... Now there is no doubt what the problem with me is as:



Absolutely - I've spent an awful lot of time reading stuff on this site and saying "Oh my God - This is me!", as well as a lot of time saying "Nope - not really me at all....". I reckon if you end up doing more of the former than the latter (as I do) then, particularly taking into account the stuff you've posted, you probably are indeed "one of us".

Yeah, i'm like those, too.



Well I can understand where she's coming from, to be honest I would not let any child of mine let himself/herself go about and get tormented for things like not wearing deodorant.

It's a simple hygene practice, and she has a place to teach her child if he/she doesn't learn.

She probably only wants the best.



Yeah, i'm in the same situation. But I probably blame my dad, because that's where I got the genes from. I get annoyed at mum for irritating me.