New member ~ Parent of newly diagnosed

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lilfroger
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27 Aug 2011, 1:02 pm

Well thank you for the posts already here. Have spent more time than I probably should have reading posts and say to myself: 'exactly!', or 'I know that feeling', or 'I should have tried that!'. So thank you very much :)

My 11 yr son was officially diagnosed this week with Aspergers. While it is not a complete shock & actually kind of a relief to have the professional assessment...it sure hasn't been a fun few days. Still just trying to process all the information put in front of me. Trying to figure out what "Cognitive Behavior Therapy" and "Applied Behavior Analysis" will look like for us.

Thankfully we have a great school program and the staff there really are team members in his success. We were blessed to have the same teacher for the last 3 years. So having a new teacher this year has him more than a little stressed.

Look forward to learning much hear & having some other people to bounce things off of!



TenPencePiece
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27 Aug 2011, 1:21 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

Nice to see he has a good school in place - I didn't unfortunately, but good for you!
Hope you enjoy your stay here :)


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OddFinn
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27 Aug 2011, 2:48 pm

Welcome.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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27 Aug 2011, 3:55 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Rich-Z
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27 Aug 2011, 5:44 pm

Hi. Welcome to WrongPlanet.



postcards57
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27 Aug 2011, 8:47 pm

Welcome! My dd's official dx with AS came in a few days before her 12th birthday. Gee, it's been almost a month now! I feel like I've been reading and thinking and talking forever about how life will / needs to be like from now on. Glad to meet someone else in the same boat, and am wishing you the very best!
J.



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27 Aug 2011, 9:06 pm

I went 24 years without a diagnosis and it has been interesting. I'm very happy but was miserable for a long time. I hated myself and attempted suicide numerous times. All I can say is love unconditionally. Don't be overprotective. Challenge lovingly. Forget about fitting your son into any standard social role. Aspies see the absurdity of most social labels. This can be very challenging. Don't encourage him to be anything more or less than exactly who he is. Most social roles are nothing more than a facade, a lie, and I can tell you from experience that pretending to be "normal" is lonely and agonizing



MakaylaTheAspie
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27 Aug 2011, 10:07 pm

Welcome to the right place on this wrong planet. :)


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CockneyRebel
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27 Aug 2011, 10:07 pm

Welkome to WrongPlanet. :)

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lilfroger
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27 Aug 2011, 10:09 pm

Thanks for the warm welcomes everyone :)

Tambourine-Man wrote:
Don't be overprotective


He's an only child ... he's screwed in that arena :tongue:

Tambourine-Man wrote:
Don't encourage him to be anything more or less than exactly who he is


I love when I can get him to open up and talk to me about what he's thinking. Some of the best days are when I can get him to tell my why the mini-van parked cooked is so fascinating or what he's thinking when he stares at the mountain out the window.

I just want to help him find the set of tools that will help him be successful. I want him to learn how to reduce the frustrations & anxiety he feels.

postcards57 wrote:
Gee, it's been almost a month now! I feel like I've been reading and thinking and talking forever about how life will / needs to be like from now on.


:pale:

A month from now ... I can't imagine my brain taking much more in right now. Please tell me that the acronyms & abbreviations get easier to recall :)

TenPencePiece wrote:
Nice to see he has a good school in place - I didn't unfortunately, but good for you!


As any child will think ... he doesn't think its all that great of a place. But as a parent knowing I can pick up the phone & speak to any of his teachers @ any time ... Knowing that they call / email me when they have concerns / questions. Know that before he gets hauled into the principals office I'm getting a call ... I is HUGE relief. The staff at his school are who first suggested we get him evaled. His IEP and such will not change much; but now we are prepared for junior high in a year.



MakaylaTheAspie
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27 Aug 2011, 10:31 pm

You know, your son is also welcome to join us at any time. :)


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postcards57
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28 Aug 2011, 8:30 am

Quote:
postcards57 wrote:

Quote:
Gee, it's been almost a month now! I feel like I've been reading and thinking and talking forever about how life will / needs to be like from now on.



A month from now ... I can't imagine my brain taking much more in right now. Please tell me that the acronyms & abbreviations get easier to recall Smile


Yep. I also looked at her assessment often in the first few weeks and can now remember what her strengths are, although I still haven't figured out how we'll help her with math. But my test will be in a few days when I meet with the Methods & Resources teacher and have to ask for specific supports.

I felt I made a breakthrough in my own coping skills about two weeks into it when I started feeling positive. I had the sense that kind of parenting we do had helped and would continue to help her, and that she was doing amazingly well. I guess I stopped blaming myself for not being as structured, consistent, and behaviourist as people seem to think parents of AS should be. We've been talking a lot more since then, and I'm grateful every time she is able to share.