Coming to Terms with AS

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My name is Justin, and before I begin, I'll admit right away - this could be one of the most nerve-wracking things I've ever done in my life, signing up to a public forum about Asperger's. Yet if this gives me an opportunity to open up about my life with AS, then it's all worth it.

I'm 27 years old, and live in Rochester. I work two jobs - one at a college bookstore, and another with a media company. Nearly two years ago at the latter job, I suffered an anxiety attack. Soon after, I was asked by one of my managers to talk to someone through the company's employee assistance program. I was able to talk to a local counselor, and I addressed them all the issues I had - not just with my working life, but with my lack of a social life (few friends, no girlfriend in years), and the seemingly ignorant refusal of acceptance by my generation. Through my meetings with the counselor, I was able to discover the possibility that I could have AS.

I went through books and Internet articles about the condition, trying to match up some of its traits to my own life. As I read through some of the symptoms - awkward social communication, difficulty making eye contact, an "obsessed" drive to finish a task, being interested in just a few things, taking some comments way too seriously, not showing much emotion unless it was anger or depression - it dawned on me. I started to think, "Maybe I have this."

I'll admit even though the counselor I spoke with at the time felt I could have AS, I haven't gone to a psychotherapist or any other analyst to confirm it. Yet in my heart, I've come to realize that this is something I have probably lived with my whole life - and for a long time, I never even realized it. Any events in my life that caused me great pain, rejection and heartbreak may have had a connection now, whereas before, things seemed to be unexplainable when it came to the obvious question: Why?

I will admit that even with the struggles, I do have a good support system. My family has been nothing but incredibly supportive - they have always accepted me, and they don't see AS as a hurdle or as a distraction. They see it simply as a challenge to overcome, and through daily living, they believe I can get through the stigma of it. I have also found friends who have been supportive and have allowed me to take part in some of their activities - mostly writing and music.

And now I want to meet and/or talk to people my age who have AS as well. I know there's a support group in Rochester, but due to my schedule (one of my jobs has me start work at 4 in the morning), I'm unable to attend any meetings. So if there's anyone of my generation who may have AS, I would be interested in meeting or talking with you about your experiences. I'm really new at coming out about this, so it's still a nervous experience. At this point, I just don't want to feel rejected by anyone who may understand what I'm going through. I feel like I've gone through enough of that from the ignorant and unwilling to listen.

No matter what happens, I'm happy I found this forum - and willing to take a chance with this.

Hey, you did just fine - no need to be nerve-wracked, though admittedly I was for a long time here!

It's good to have a supportive family behind you, I'm lucky enough to also have that benefit.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, hope you enjoy your stay here

Thank you for joining WP and posting. I hope you find peace as you come to terms with AS. It sounds as though you've already taken some big steps, and as you walk you'll probably discover that your differences are part of an equally valid, alternate approach to life.
J.

Welcome to the right place on this wrong planet.

You don't need to be nervous! We're a pretty accepting community.

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

Welcome! I'm still kind of apprehensive too, but I think this place is generally going to have a lot more understanding & accepting people than the average NT might be. It's great that your workplace was able to help you. Good luck in the future

Spent an awful lot of time up your way, Greece, Irondequoit, in the past, and now the relatives have separated even more diversely around Rochester proper. Hard to find full time up there, wish you better on a more one thing job and hope, even more, it fits you. If that is your hope. It's a startling thing to find a common cause, but in its way, still startling, a relief to have that AHA!! Moment.