Hello everyone

Post Reply New Topic

I got here via Wikipedia.

I am hoping you guys can help me with something.

My best friend was diagnosed with Asperger a few years before I met him. I've known him for a couple of years now. Here's my problem:

He's an amazing guy and I've found myself in love with him. He knows I'm gay, but has never really discussed his sexuality with me (Although he has said some embarrassing things in every-day conversation before XD)

I've tried to sound him out as many times as I've dared but every time I've asked he says he doesn't know whether he's gay or not. Sometimes when we goof around we end up wrestling or mock-fighting and I've noticed him aroused a few times but when I ask him about it he'll give me the 'I don't know what the hell you're talking about' look and change the topic. Maybe it's just a regular-to-be-expected body reaction and too much wishful thinking.

I don't know what to do. Should I tell him how I feel outright? I don't want to risk messing up our friendship but pining away like this can't be good for me. I just wish I knew if he was attracted to other guys at all, it'd make things so much easier.

Ok so here's what guys can help me out with if you may. How can I approach the subject with him?
Sometimes I just want to initiate sex in some way but I don't know if that has the potential of being just as bad as telling him how I feel. Sex can be excused as a horrible case of hormones and blue balls though, it's hard to take back telling someone that you love them. Also, I know he wouldn't get violent like most straight men.

Anyways, I know you're probably not too keen on being relationship counselors to love sick boys but I would truly appreciate any help. Maybe you guys can point me to something I haven't thought of or some detail I'm missing.

Thanks in advance.

Hello and welcome to wrongplanet.

Make yourself at home.

Obivously, I am an aspie myself, and if you wish I could tell you a few things about me.

Go here at the link below and view my post. It gives an insight about me:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... 6&start=90

Does your friend know you are gay....if so,he may have already figured out that you might be interested in him...You could be risking a friendship if bringing up the topic makes him uncomfortable but I think most people would prefer the direct approach may not be "ready" for any form of intimacy...there are several people here who are Asexual....or he may be afraid to ruin the friendship with sex.....sex can be scary point is,he is less likely to know how to discuss this then someone who doesnt have AS.(IMO)

Your aspie friend is probably your best friend since your probably one of the few people he trusts.

When he says "he don't know" whether he's gay or not, I assure you he's not trying to bluff you in any way.

From what I've read, a lot of us on the spectrum are confused over things like this. Not so much becasue of any gender confusion, but becasue this is an issue (are you or are you not?) of considerable vagueness in a world where we would prefer black and white as much as possible. Hell, sometimes I'm not even sure what I am!

Sexual arousal dosen't always equate to sexual attraction. I remember in junior high school getting wood during gym class over things, usually resulting from physical stimulation of my gym shorts.

To sum up things, I think you should let your friend decide what he is and not pressure him into making that choice.

No...I wasnt saying to ignore the situation...sorry if I wasnt being clear(you arnt the first to notice)I was saying to be open and honest with him about your feelings and be prepared for a possible need for him to end the relationship or need time to sort out his feelings before he can see you...Is that more clear?I hope...