Hi from a brand new "Aspie"

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First off my handle MikeAlphaCharlie. I normally go by Mac, but that was taken, so was every other version of every other handle I could come up with, therefore the radiospeak. My name is not Mike.

Second I am an undiagnosed "Aspie" or one blessed with Aspergers. A few months ago my wife, in desperation tracked it all down on the internet and it has become abundantly clear to both of us that we are in an asperger/neurotypical relationship... for the last 23 years. Lots to talk about there, lots of pain.

My wife has shared many links regarding wives of aspergers people that describe our relationship so well that conclusion is unavoidable, she could have written them. The scary part of most of them is the comments section which can be summed up with one word - RUN!

To be quite honest I don't know where I'm at with this. I don't want to be an "Aspie", by that I mean no disrespect but I'm not looking for a new identity or a group to fit in with. At least I wasn't, this thing chose me. I have always known I was somewhat different but I never knew how deeply it would affect my wife. It is our relationship that has brought me here. She deserves more from life than constantly changing the adult diapers around my brain.

It is one thing to know that and I know it is healthy to confirm rather than deny (painfully obvious to both of us). It is another thing to climb up out of the well once you realize you're in it. So that's why I'm here. I'm hoping to find similar people who are committed to preserving their relationships who may offer advice and encouragement.

Mac

Hey Mike - er Mac!

Welcome

Hi Mac,

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

My wife also figured out that I have Aspergers after many years of study!

Obviously, after this long, we aren't going to change.

But, I've figured out how to schedule things to make things much easier.

First of all, social interaction is hard. So, don't make it harder by forcing yourself to stop some project in the middle--put off the project until later, when you don't have to be interrupted. Plan ahead, to make things easier. These days, one can download maps of all sorts of things--next time I have airplane trip through ORD I'll bring a map of the terminals.

Lists of important things to do really help--so does a calendar with all the important activities of the year.

Welcome

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Mac, maybe my story will help you. I'm 49 and didn't find out I had AS until about a year ago. My family not only didn't understand, but ostracized and tormented me until I couldn't take it anymore; I've been on my own since I was sixteen. I've had a few friends, but not many. In other words, I've always been on my own with minimal help from anybody else, and I've done quite well.

What I'm getting at is that in some ways I'm a stronger person than my normal girlfriend. So, while I do rely on her in social situations, she needs me as much as I need her. If you can relate to my story at all, maybe you can show her your relationship isn't one-way, but give-and-take.

To WrongPlanet!! !