Wow, you're a little bit like a younger version of me! I tried comedy. Now, you may succeed and more power to you, and you may succeed quickly. I would just ask you to keep in mind that it has luck factors and external factors.
I also have an interest in philosophy! To me, ethics is green fields and background afternoon sunlight where you can see far and clear. And it's such a breath of fresh air from the religion of my teenage years (I am now comfortably atheist/agnostic.) But, there's a fair amount of hierarchy in philosophy, an emphasis on writing that's oh-so formal, a mentality of scarcity, for good reason, most of the job openings only occur when someone retires.
Have you thought about medicine. I mean, the real thing, getting an MD, becoming a doctor? You might be able to do a better job than the clowns you have now. Or law, architecture, accounting, etc?
And as a patient and human being, always a right to a second opinion. I might advise the approach start putting some of those guys or gals on the bench. Doesn't mean you need to fire them for all time. But maybe start trying out a new quarterback so to speak.
Welcome!