Hi. I'm new here.

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I'm not sure if I'm an Aspie but I believe I might have Asperger's based on what I've been reading and from personal experience. I came here to learn more about it and discuss it with others.

I'm 27. "Recent" college grad. By which I mean I graduated almost three years ago and haven't landed a job. I spend most of my time alone. Rarely socialize. Have very few friends. Never been in a relationship or dated anyone. I like video games, reading, and computer stuff. I'm an atheist, skeptic, and science cheerleader.

Ever since I was in kindergaten and all the way through high school and college I believe I had selective mutism or some form of social anxiety. I was always the weird, quiet guy. I could spend a day without talking to others and preferred to play video games or read. I believe I only made a few friends in high school because they were talking about Pokémon and I happened to be interested in that. Though I never got to hang out with them outside of school. After graduating from high school I moved to another state for college and those friends dropped off the radar.

In college I spent most of my time alone with the exception of family members. Never made friends while in college. I also found out about Asperger's at this point but didn't research it further and didn't think it applied to me. After graduating I spent three years basically closed inside my parent's home trying to get a job, despite being told I had a good resume and portfolio at interviews. I think I was also seriously depressed.

Then, about five months ago, I got a temp job. I believe I got hired because they were hiring anyone and there was no interview process. I started going to the gym and going to networking events to get a proper job and also found a new social circle. I came out as bi/gay and started getting involved in LGBT groups for networking opportunities and dating. While this increased my self-esteem and situation immensely I also had difficulty interacting with people. I still didn't have a job and my temp job won't last long. I also have difficulty talking to others and getting into the dating game.

Some of my experiences during these last few months have led me to think there is something wrong with me. I have noticed I tend to speak in a monotone voice. I speak up when a subject I'm interested in comes up, otherwise I don't speak much. I tend to look away from people's faces. I "clam" up when a lot of people stare at me and my mind goes blank. I'm always questioning myself on what to do in social situations. People come up to me and ask about me and I can answer them but then I can't continue the conversation. I stare off to the side and just wait until someone asks me a question.

I constantly feel like an outsider and out of place. Even around people who share my interests. I don't understand how people find it so easy to talk to others. I also find it particularly depressing and infuriating seeing couples holding hands, cuddling, or just two friends hanging out. Even more so from people who say they are shy or socially inept.

Anyway, this is turning into my personal rant. I'm not sure if I have Asperger's but I'm trying to find a professional in my area to get diagnosed or at least help me in some way. And I hope joining in the discussions here prove useful.

hiya
welcome to our club 8:
some thoughts-
*if you have decent comprehensive health insurance, it wouldn't hurt to get a dx from a shrink. at least you will know for sure, it will be one less thing for you to wonder about. you seem to be very high-functioning in terms of having been able to go all the way through university with a degree at the end, so i don't believe things like strattera would help you like they helped me to function. the best thing for you would be to continue your physical fitness quest, it serves a meditative function in that you can focus your thoughts or tune out unpleasant thoughts while you are vigorously exercising. concentrate at this point, on the things you do well in. worrying about things you can't change won't help you. just be the best you that you can be, and let others be.

Welcome to WP!

Hi ralphiesa,

Welcome to WP,
a place where many people who feel out of place gather.

ps: I am much more outgoing and social online here than I am in person.

I'm as outgoing and social online as in person.

Hi ralphiesa,
I wish you the best of luck with finding a good professional. I'm seeking a good doc too.

Hello ralphiesa. How are you doing.

My usual short answer: "I'm doing ok."
Long answer: "Not really..."

^^^
i believe you can outthink your problems alright. maybe not as soon as you would like, but eventually.