I think I have Asperger's. Any help? Ohh, I'm new : )

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Hello, been lurking at this forum for quite some time. Found it fascinating and easy to relate to. Figured I will post a little about me.

I've been recently seeing a psychiatrist (two actually) due to perceived deficits in social interaction, and troubles with panic attacks from time to time (though my anxiety has gotten better after using a CPAP). The main reason I am posting this is to introduce myself, to link my past and present symptoms to a more accurate diagnosis, and perhaps gain some closure about my troubles making friends, especially in my early childhood.

I've heard that only a psychologist, internist (and some other PCDs), or psychiatrist can give a diagnosis, but even among professionals misdiagnosis of mental "illnesses" are commonplace, so perhaps I should try and solicit the help of those on the spectrum, to see if my personal history fits Asperger's of HFA.

I've first became interested in mental illness after my 2nd panic attack at age 22, while I was still a student at college. Frantically trying to figure out what was wrong, I stumbled upon some information about Asperger's. A lot of the symptoms I immediately identified with:

Aspie traits I most definitely have:
- Trouble with eye contact? Check. This has nothing to do with shyness and has everything to do with the eyes distracting me from having a normal conversation.
- Obsessive interests? I have a lot of them, some conventional(video games, music, writing, poker, movies, and watching stand-up comedy), some abnormal (encyclopedic knolwedge of the Big Five personality traits is one straight off the bat. The human genome is another. Reading random research papers hours to no end is also one), but all most certainly obsessive. Check.
- Troubles making, keeping friends, and overall not finding the apt thing to say? Mega-check with an explanation point. I didn't have my first friend until age 16, when I started coming out of my shell, and to this day I still struggle to keep a circle of contacts outside of family. Although my ability to hold a conversation has improved substantially, through years of practice!
- Logical and analytical? Yes according to everyone I know, even my psychiatrist who doesn't think I have Asperger's mentioned it was a little excessive.
- Gifted in certain areas. Yes, math was mine. Breezed through calculus and the sciences while struggling with classes related to my marketing major
- Motor clumsiness? Most definitely. Sucked at sports, waddled in elementary school. The list goes on.
- Sensory issues? With touch yes yes yes. I also started getting problems with auditory processing as well several months ago, but correcting my sleep apnea has allayed that to the point where it is no longer a problem.
- Systemizer? Yuppers!! ! Although NTs can be systemizers as well.


Then, some traits I didn't identify immediately identify with.
- Trouble with change? This is questionable. When I am really involved in an activity I don't like being interrupted, but when I'm not, I have no problem doing things on the fly.
- Routine? No. my life could in fact use some order. I don't have issues when my routine is broken either, most of the time.
- Executive functioning issues? Not that I'm aware of, and it was tested by a professional psychologist. That said there are plenty of those on the spectrum who don't have problems with executive functioning, at least that can be detected with current tests.

So, after being fired from my job 5 months I started going to a deep depression, and the rate my panic attacks happened increased ten-fold. I started developing a fear that I finally "lost it" or "gone crazy", common for those with panic disorder. I came again to this website, which I did every 3 months, and found an article (or post? don't remember) about a book called Look Me In The Eye. When the book arrived on my doorstep, I ravaged the box and pored myself into the pages. Immediately everything in my life started to make sense, from the setbacks, let-downs, shattered dreams, to the moments of triumph and verve. It was my entire life in a book.

I decided to give this whole professional diagnosis thingy a try. Shelled my $150 and went to my diagnostic interview. The first 20 minutes the doctor hears my story about my troubles with social interaction, and then she brings up Asperger's, asking if I heard of it. I told her yes. She then asks a question. Do you prefer the concrete or abstract? I found the question rather odd, considering that there are members on the spectrum in the arts and theoretical sciences, but I told her abstract, and that I wrote poems as a teen and am now dabbing in music. After that she seems to dismiss Asperger's and never brings it up again, and then goes straight into discussing my depression. I wanted to be like, "well of course I'm depressed! I just lost my job!" but instead let her do her thing, telling her I was depressed before, mainly relating to poor social interaction. She then gives me the diagnosis, Bipolar II w/o ADHD and Panic Disorder. Really doc? I exhibit almost all the symptoms were looking for earlier and you dismiss it because you assume that if I were an aspie I wouldn't appreciate a Van Gogh?

I walked out reflecting on my life. I don't recall ever having a hypomanic episode. I look at my social interactions in the past, the loneliness i felt growing up, feeling that no body wanted me, scrapping at the bottom of the social ladder in high school just for some acceptance. Finally coming out my shell in college when at 19 I was reading dozens of books on social skills, consolidating pages of research to learn what comes to most everyone else naturally. Was 8 years of improving on my problem masking an underlying condition?

My doc did say her diagnosis was tentative, and I'm coming back for a reevaluation. So what do you guys think? Do I have asperger's?

Asperger's or not, I would have never been seeking help without the inspiration from the members here at wrongplanet. Any feedback would be great, and I am looking forward to posting more in the future.

Welcome aboard!

I think you should wait for the re-evaluation, instead of asking complete strangers on a social website for their opinions. None of us can give you a diagnosis (AFAIK), as not one of us is an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional.

Now, please have a seat, and someone else will be with you shortly.

No diagnosis is necessary. Personal opinions will do just fine. : )

Cool! As long as they're expressed as opinions ... don't let the poseurs convince you otherwise.

I myself go through quite a bit of trouble with self diagnosis myself there amigo.... What you might be going through is an identity struggle... The most important thing here is self integrity and honesty and open-mindedness....

If i may say this without sounding uncouth.... It almost sounds as if you want Asperger's Syndrome as your diagnosis... And i say this because im very much in that boat myself..... I feel for myself like that would bring so much closure to my life it would make me satisfied in a niche... Now since im only hearing about your doctor through a thread i wasn't there I can not immediatly make conclusions upon your doctor and the type of person they are..... Your doctor may very well have many reasons for believing that you do not possess the diagnosis.... after all and again i say this not to be rude but to possess more of a preciseness... They did go through an immense amount of schooling to obtain that position so they may very well have a completly legitimate reason for dismissing Aspergers something you and I couldnt probably see the reason for on the surface. Then again i could be wrong and your doctor could be just be shooting up smoke. I cant make any 100% observations with just the article posted

I think again honesty with yourself and an open-mindedness is the key here..... Friend you seem to have obsessed yourself with this Asperger's Diagnosis in a way and i say that in the most respectful way i can.... I was there and probably still am there but am trying to cope with it because the diagnosis can change from Doctor to Doctor.... And believe me ive been down that road.... It's not a fun one and it'll drive you absolutely batty.......

As far as whether or not you are in possession of the diagnosis.... You seem to be a rather high functioning individual.... You may have aspergers just on a lower scale like I myself probably do.... Here's luck to you friend wish i had some more insight to give you...

And a note lower functioning Aspies typically have a rather difficult time breaking up their routine which is my reason for saying you may have it on a lower scale.... A good movie reference my compadre is ADAM/ its an independent film about an individual named ADAM/// he has a more severe definition of Asperger's Syndrome and the challenges that it would bring in life.... Try a self reflection after watching this movie and you may see what i mean when i say that you and myself probably hit a lower scale on Asperger's syndrome

Feel free to respond! ill write back quickly....

I posted about my son being a possible aspie just today after nine months of doing research. I still can't figure it out, and at this point, he doesn't have any issues at school or at home that would make me go out and put him through a reem of testing. When I was speaking with our district diagnositician, she made a good point, "Many humans have Autistic traits, it's a question of how much does the person have?" Just because you have some of the traits doesn't mean you have it.....and just because you don't have all of them doesn't mean you don't have it.

I have some social deficits. I suffer from anxiety, depression and OCD. I take meds for it. But I can also be the life of the party. I can be obsessive. I've been obsessed with Aspergers since it was brought up as a possible part of my son's personality. I can read medical journals about blood diseases and obstetrics ALL DAY LONG. I'm NT.

I think that AS for high functioning people can be very difficult to really diagnose. If any of your mental health issues, like the depression/anxiety is really hurting you in life, then deal with those and maybe once those get under control, you can pursue the AS stuff in more detail.

For my son, if he IS in deed an Aspie, he is very high functioning and I think his Aspie traits will certainly help him with whatever he decides to do in life. It would also explain him a little more. I tend to ramble. Sorry about that.

Welcome to WP!

ohhhh, i love medical journals too! If I get fixated on a particular topic and find something really interesting I'll stay up all night reading. I can start on one thing then it leads to another then another then another, then before I know it the sun is up.

I'd suspect that most Doctors are wary of sticking their necks out on the line and diagnosing too many cases of something the industry hasn't fully come to a consensus on yet. They prefer to follow the conventional script of treating you for the likes of depression and stuff. Don't forget, Doctors get sued for millions and surely they are aware of that. They prefer to take a less risky course and treat you for all the vanilla symptoms that the industry deals with on a routine basis.

@169Kitty Ahh, a fellow avid reader of medical literature. Maybe we should start a club. My current category of choice is sleep apnea. And yes, if I stay up any further I will get a nice view of the sunrise.

@Nightowl That may be true, but I don't think it is the case this time. If that were her concern, why give me a bipolar diagnosis? Wouldn't it be easier and safer to simply give me a diagnosis of depression and be done with it? In fact, her chances of getting sued are greater with a bipolar diagnosis without giving me medication. (which is what is happening right now) She was also thinking about an Asperger's diagnosis, where the literature on approved treatments is even more scant than bipolar. If she is giving me the runaround, she is not very good at it.

Ahh i am so sorry i did not get back to you sooner..... i didnt realize the notifications for responses would be sent via email.....

I am short on time today so i will only insert a few thoughts into this message....... Aspergers should probably be decided not by such a narrow minded term but the basis for the cause of asperger's so it could be subdivided and treated more effectively...... thus eliminating such narrow medication options......

I personally believe now that if i do possess aspergers it would be an OCD based asperger's.... im also under the impression that people could have bipolar based aspergers/ anxiety based aspergers so on and so forth...... whatever brand you may have.... i think the medication or treatment you might be seeking should be sought out carefully.... because at this point in time there is no one medicine designed for the sole treatment of Asperger's Syndrome....

At any rate compadre's I have quite a long walk ahead of me.... to work..... please add me on facebook or something i would greatly appreciate more discussion upon the topic..... My full name of which to search me by is Adam Paul James Holcomb also adderof7@rock. well i cant post links yet but you get the picture hope to hear from you soon..... !~~~~! again sorry for not responding sooner!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

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