Wondering if I Have Aspergers

Post Reply New Topic

Hi all, I just found this site yesterday and have been poking around...

My friends and family have been "joking" that I have Aspergers for a couple of years now whenever I do things like start playing a game on my iphone during dinner or refuse to be hugged. Finally the other day I ran an Amazon search for women with Aspergers and in the first couple of books I skimmed found myself relating very closely to what the women were saying...

For example, I was absolutely obsessed with animals, especially horses, growing up. I was (and still am) also prone to through pretty severe temper tantrums when I was hungry, stressed by being out in public, or felt I was being treated unfairly. I am pretty physically awkward/clumsy and have an amazingly terrible sense of direction. I like routine, but am not exactly freaked out if I can't stick to it. I am, however, famous for eating and wearing pretty much the same stuff for days on end. And, the more I have been reading the past couple days, the more I realize how much of my social function is derived from mimicking others' behaviors and assuming personas rather than intuiting how to behave. I am generally very ill-at-ease in social situations and struggle not to speak v. bluntly all the time! I was never diagnosed or even taken to doctors as a kid despite being considered extremely "difficult" and "intense," but I was homeschooled until high school and so I think my behavior eccentricities didn't pose as much of a problem as they would have if I was in a school situation.

I know that's just a cursory intro, but I'm very interested to meet and speak with others here and get a better sense of where I fit in this whole picture! I'm especially curious about the experiences of others who feel they might be "on the spectrum," or have Apergers but blend in more or less with NTs...

Look foward to meeting all of you!

Hi, welcome to Wrong Planet!

Whether you are full-blown on the spectrum or whether you only have some traits but not others, I bet you have things you can contribute here.

Now, about assuming personas, I think most people kind of do that and come to the combo that feels right for them. Maybe only from the outside does it appear that people intuitively know what to do.

Personally, I can get into a mode of all sending-no receiving. So I try and experiment with medium step, observing feedback, and open to more ping pong style of communication.

Welcome to WP!

Best thing to do is get professionally diagnosed. If your friends are joking about you having AS, most likely they have no idea what AS is.

Hi doctissima,

Besides very likely being on the spectrum, we share a few things in common -
I love horses too
When I was younger I threw temper tantrums. (Now they're mild), I get stressed in crowds like most people here. I have a rotten sense of direction. I've gotten lost for several hours only 2 miles from my home. I wear the same clothing (pants) all the time.

And don't like when anyone tries to talk to me or distract me when I'm doing something important (to me) - like typing in this forum.


Welcome to Wrong Planet

Thanks for the replies!

I probably will get myself to a professional soon. The one thing is, given that spectrum disorders are diagnosed on a by-symptoms basis, I feel that because I'm most likely borderline either way I will be able to sway the diagnosis so long as I go to someone who is sympathetic to the view that Aspergers is often diagnosed in females because the "hide it better" or whatever.



Nice, goodwitchy! That's really impressive. Not sure I can top it, although just a few weeks ago I turned down the wrong street at a four-way intersection when I was trying to go home and my house was only 50 ft away.

Question for everyone: My mom wants to know if my tendency to make up rules like, "Now that you've asked me to clean my room, I can't do it" is a spectrum-thing. I used to do this quite frequently, and actually felt a physical block inside of me preventing me from doing things that were required of me. It seems that this is a different kind of hang-up from walking past candles (yes, now I'm using illustrations from Parenthood). Often, when I could not follow these little "rules" I made up in my head, it would result in a tantrum. I remember once throwing a huge fit in the middle of a fabric store, and refusing to calm down when a salesperson was offering me a ruler, or a cookie, or a coloring book---I would only stop if I could have two things, to which my mom said absolutely no. I think I wasn't simply being selfish, however...it was a control issue. I felt totally out of control and even though I remember not actually wanting a cookie or a ruler, if I couldn't get both I was going to keep screaming to kingdom come. Is that spectrum-like behavior? Thanks!

I don't know if it's a similar thing, but I could not stand when people told me I had to do something, or couldn't do something (including marrying the first guy I ever dated who turned out to be an alcoholic).

Oddly, I did okay in school grade-wise depending on the teacher (and except for PE classes and Driver's Ed which I was miserable in).

At 16 I had anorexia, which in my case was probably a control and a low self esteem thing.

My only real friend in high school was a bit of a misfit herself - she was super intelligent, but we were both socially awkward outcasts. Funny, I didn't even see that back then.

I think you've matched my "detour driving" ability there - only 50ft from your home
(Laughing because I can totally relate - I don't like confusing 4 way intersections, especially ones with a lot of lanes )

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP, and don't worry too much about it. Maybe you will find a skill in your obsession?

Being of a similar age, I wasn't diagnosed either, but was put into a school to improve the way I talk...which I have improved on but I was probably told I was Autistic at the age of 11.

So your family and friends wouldn't have known either until you started showing a few symptoms of it. That's not a problem though, since now you cans see first hand how people are and manage their social awkwardness in many different and unique ways!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Thanks everyone! I think I'll just keep a log for now of things I do that seem spectrum-like and read lots of posts so I get a sense of this community. I'm so glad I found this place, it's awesome! And whether I have Asperger's or not, I relate to a lot of what I'm reading here and I'm sure I can learn from it.