New Member Seeking Help for a Friend

Post Reply New Topic

Dear Members

I have a very close friend who has Asperger Syndrome and lives in Morristown. He has tried to socialize with people time and time again without any luck. What's really sad is that where he lives there's hardly any support or treatments. I've even talked to his doctor and he couldn't find any support groups in the area Are there any members out there who live in Morristown, or Knoxville, TN? I know he's very lonely and doesn't go out much at all. I wish to help him make new friends who will understand him and not be mean and push him away.

He is 27, loves computers, video games and is a Star Trek fan.

Welcome to WP!

oi!

I'm the one she's talking about..

she just sent me this link and I just created an account.

Though I may have had one before, long time ago, not certain.

Not really sure what else to say at this point.

Awww I'd gladly be his friend, unfortunately I live in Massachusetts

Welcome to WP you both!

Unfortunately I'm obviously not in the area, but I hope you find someone near you. There are lots of people here, so there's a big chance you'll find.

To be honest.. I'm not sure I really know what to do much..

I am not very good with people..

And I seem to spend most days on skype talking to my friend who started this post..

I always seem to make.. well.. pretty much everyone but her upset at some point or another

I'm not even sure now how much to talk/say/whatever.

I don't want to just ramble on about my problems, as everyone has problems, and
it seems rather... urm... I forget the word, basically just 'not good' - like why
should I just pop in and say oh no I got so many problems help me! without
having established any kind of dialog and without any real back and forth trading
of information. Not sure if this fits.. expect something for nothing?

So I really am not sure where to go from this point.

But I also feel I should be saying something, so here we are

Thank you btw, for any/all replies, thoughts, considerations, etc.

This might be a stupid thing to say, but I'm gonna give it a shot.

Everyone with Asperger's had different issues. (So do neurotypicals.) Try to find someone (with or without Asperger's) who seems to be dealing with similar issues as yourself. Maybe give a brief summary of the issues you deal with and and say that you are looking to meet people in your area who have similar issues. Or PM someone who seems like they would understand.

Apparently I say stupid things all the time... comments/questions/observations/etc.

So, it might appear that way to some people, but I'm not one of them.

For a little background, without rambling too much hopefully, I've went to tech school,
community college, and a BCM(Baptist Collegiate Ministry) at the college campus. In
addition to being active in some gaming communities over the years.

I helped people with work at tech school, and then go kicked out by a
'head teacher' for.. ugh, thats a longer story. Though I made a friend
there we fell out of contact and I feel most of the people, other than
the ones I helped, may have been making fun of me.

College, went a bit better, I did some stupid things though, like, not
stopping on a test when the time was up(why is it so hard to stop things? ugh!).
Still never really had more than a couple interesting conversations.

However I did discover the BCM on the campus, and at first they seemed quite
welcoming, but over time things seemed to degrade. A few people seemed
to remain mostly nice, and most seemed to only be, uh.. as nice as politeness
demanded? if that fits... hope it makes sense.

Seems like everyone wears a mask or persona, or something, and I well, don't.

I feel like I'm always walking on egg shells and its exhausting, I have to try to
create a buffer, process things that come in, and try to figure out what can go out,
often I can't keep up. Its very exhausting, and seems to provide little benefit
thus far, I still can't communicate effectively and tend to upset people in one
way or another somehow.

And, no offense meant to anyone, but where I am, not sure if its the whole
'south' or 'southern' thing or just around here but people seem to have a
highly developed set of preconceptions and just a general way of thinking
that leads to.. well.. lets just say it likely doesn't end well when it becomes
and/or causes and/or influences an issue.

I don't know how to meet people outside, because I can never seem to get over
this invisible wall. Even after going to that BCM place for a couple years off
and on, and seeing some of the same people, repetitively, I never got past
socializing with them solely at that venue. Whilst they often hang out away from
it or even when it was closing would go to someones house and hang out.

Usually several of them, and on the rare occasion I got to go, I felt like
I was not really there, like I was just an outside observer, I might as well
have not went. I could not be included, even in group activities.

Cards was quite popular but I never got to play much, even though I'd
state my intention to play, anything at all. hearts, spades, rook, whatever.

And I'm still rambling, bah! I shall just end it here. blast it all. Sorry about all the text.

I suck at condensing information.

Thanks again.

And btw Briana_Lopez, thanks for the offer

Not really sure what else to say at this point, so, posting

I'm from Canada actually, but I've always liked having one or two close friends, as opposed to a big group of friends(for some reason, I find it easier to manage a couple friends than a whole ton). In other words, I think it's great that you have a really close friend that's willing to help you. During my early to mid teens my mom and dad put me in various aspergers groups, but they always seemed so empty, and never seemed to help. But, enough about me. Everyone's different, and maybe a group would help you. Out of highschool, I took up visiting forums, and this seems to be a preferred way for me to get to know people, and fill a lot of voids. Perhaps you were right to come to a forum to talk to people. No matter where you live, you can connect with people all over the world this way, and I think that's really cool. But, if it's face to face interaction you're seeking, maybe try joining groups relating to any interests you might have. You never know, you might meet people you really connect with.

Thank you everyone for replying to this post and welcome me and my friend to the forums. I'm in Canada as well. This is why it's so difficult for me to help my friend. If we lived in the same area, it wouldn't be that bad for either one of us. I guess the main reason we get along so well is because I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder and depression. So I definitely know what it feels like not being able to communicate with people. The only difference is that he can't understand what people are trying to say and I'm terrified to talk to them, in person that is

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welkome to WP

Mick