Any more like me in my area? (An introduction)

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My name is Vince (Hiii, Viiinnce).

And I've been diagnosed with adult ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome.

There are times when I question the validity of the diagnosis, but it's something that I've suspected for years. Perhaps not as severe as some of the cases I've read about, but many of the things that aspies go through - bullying at a younger age, clumsiness, an inability to earn the respect of my peers regardless of what I've tried - were very consistent. I'm sensitive to being touched (I'm the only one in my martial arts group that vocally reacts when getting hit).

Flash forward a buncha years later. I'm 29. I've in the midst of my second career change, I stay at home most nights, most of my friends have pretty much gone and left (moved to different cities, so it's difficult to keep contact) and finding new friends is a challenge. Oh, and I haven't broken the seal yet.

No, no wallowing in self pity here because I'm making an concerted effort to change that by meeting people, although no matter how hard I try, I may never, ever fit in. I don't get included in a lot of group activities and generally don't feel like I belong anywhere. I'm wondering if I should really accept that as fact or not.

I am smart. I am in the best shape of my life. I can cook. I have minimal body hair and a low bodyfat percentage. I treat women with respect. I play guitar and sing at the same time. I have a college degree. I don't watch that much television or play that many video games. I'm not an ego-maniac or a male pig. But, none of that stuff matters if I don't have the self-confidence with that, because people with none of those things get laid regularly. But I will fix that.

Thanks for sharing, Vince. Welcome to WP.

Hi Vince, I'm Mark. Welcome to the Wrong Planet.

"Any more like me in my area?"

I dunno. Where the hell are you?

area can be a very subjective term

Yeah, that location thing is kinda important. So we'll get back to you once you get back to us.

Welcome to WP!

Cool user name!

Tim

Welcome. It's funny you mention having so many great qualities, that even the normal world claims to be important and yet it doesn't matter. I know I've spent alot of time 'self improving' in every aspect of life I thought mattered to others, either friends or potential mates. But somewhere along, I realized I was far superior to many ppl in many areas and ultimately, I could become a perfect human being (k not literally) and it still would not matter, because correctly obeying social norms appears to be far more important than everything else combined! Still a wild thought to me, lol, but how come they never told us that in school, on tv, the media, etc.. unspoken reality, right?

Yeah, I forgot to fill in that section, didn't I. Oops.

Yeah, they're the various lies that they tend to tell us when we're growing up. Moms tell us to be nice to girls when we're growing up. Teachers tell us to study hard as hard work will yield reward. Everybody loves a hero. Treat others with respect and you will be treated in kind.

Uh, no.

Women end up in relationships with guys who treat them with crap, and then they complain to their girlfriends, "Why can't I just find a nice guy", while "niceness" is often interpreted as excessively needy. People who work their asses off get passed over for promotion in favour of someone who was just more visible to them. Heroes fall from grace and the public revels in their humiliation. Respect must be earned, regardless of how much you freely give to those around you.

Figuring out how it works is the easy part. Figuring out how to get it work for ME, that's proving to be a bit more of a challenge.