Hello.. I'm a newbe..

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Well I have been lurking around for a while and decided too make an appearance. I am an 34 year old Electrical Engineer and have worked for a good 8-9 years so far doing a lot of verilog design work and some circuit board design. I am pretty natually talented at building things as well as solving problems. Maybe because I am such an analitical type person. lol So I have been having a lot of relationoship problems lately and I just can't help but woner if they are, because I have some sort of Autisic tendencies or I fit within the spectrum. I have been suspecting this more over the past year. I also have doubts and wonder if I am just being to harsh on myself. etc..

Over the last few years I have been posting on the MBTI - INTP central forum some since that is what I usually type as. I think I got bored of it recently so I haven't been posting there much lately.. INTP central is were I first heard about AS and that some people don't even know they have it.

So here is a list of the things that make me think that I fit into the Autisic spectrum.

- My Mom said I was a very fussy baby and I her saying that she would rock me a lot to calm me down. I later would rock myself a lot in a rocking chair to relax and sleep when I was a child. I also had an adversion to silverware knocking to each other. That sound would paralize me and make me druel. Now it doesn't bother me because I suspect I lost some of my hearing due to playing with things that go boom later on in life.. lol

- In school I was noted for not having very many friends and was sighted by my teachers as being anti-social. I got put into special ed for a while and they wanted to do further testing. My parents refused to do further testing as they beleived nothing was wrong with me.. My mom always tells me "I was a just a square peg and the school was trying to fit into a round hole." During my life I maybe kept only hand full of friends during school and they are still my few freinds that I know and keep in touch with presently. I have made some more since then but they just never seem to be really good freindships.

- I had a lot of problems with my teachers in grade school. Once I remember in first grade I said something that got interpreted as being disrespectful to my teacher. She punished me by puting me in a corner with a dunce cap on.. I cried so much because I didn't totally understand what I did that was so bad.. I don't remember it totally but I think later one of my class mates clarified to me that what I said wasn't nice or something like that. I just remember telling them that I was just questioning why we had to do something a particular way and I didn't mean to be smart or disrespectful.

- I was bullied quite a bit in school even late into high school and some in college.

- In the summer between 5-6 grade I found this electronics tutoring self teaching box that I got from my uncle. I found out that I really liked it and got into electronics and Radio shack became my favorate store.. Hence why I ended up as an Electrical Engineer, but for a time actually wanted to be a Physisist. My mom mentioned to me recently that in 6th grade I tested out as a junior in science.. I knew that I was always very good in science but I didn't know that fact untill recently. I also ended up in a gifted and talented class about that time and I wonder if that was how I got in. They did do some more IQ tests and a few other tests on me around that time too. I don't know what the results of that was as it was kept secret from me. Science was my best subject and english was my worst.. My ACT scores in high school were something like 14 26 35.. very lop sided..

- I have never had a girlfreind in my life, and I have always been very shy. It hasn't been untill recently that I have learned to be somewhat comfortable with just huging someone of the opposite sex. I have had a few dates hear and there, but most of them cut me off after the first date. I always figured it was because I wasn't that good looking or something.. The few people that I dated that have went on a little longer have been just recently, but both ended within a few months in a very dragged out fasion. I really struggled in the first one trying to understand all that was going on, and spending sleepless nights analizing everything. I can't say either of them were even girlfriends, because I don't think it ever really got that far. The first one was ended up being a strong willed bi-polar?? women and I after much thought decided I should get out of that after she started yelling at me for just trying to help keep her from falling on a hike. The last woman was really hard on me, because it seemed to go really well at first but just blew up within the last few days. She called me a lot but eventually wouldn't go out on any more dates. It was like she started isolating herself away from me which made me a little distrustful and confused of the whole situation. I sort of wonder if she just did that so she didn't have to be the one to break up with me and hurt my feelings. I remember after the second date she wrote me and though I didn't like her and I was totaly suprized.. I was trying SO hard not to do anything with her that would get me sent to jail.. lol Maybe I missed something there.. I ended up ending it with here this week, because I was just so stressed about the whole situation. I couldn't quite figure out what she was doing after a while etc.. So I ran away and she didn't seem to take it very well or really care for that matter... I did tell her at one point I was interested in a "possible" relationship with her and that might have messed it up. She said she didn't have time for one, but at first it seemed like she was willing to be a friend untill she had more time... I guess am too honest sometimes.. lol..

- I have one friend and his wife had a brother with autism. They both lived with me for over a year as roomates a while back.. Now they have a 3-4 year old child with Autism as well. About a month ago I was talking with them and mentioned to my friend's wife that I have heard about AS and wonered if I could fit in the spectrum someplace.. She suddenly looked at my friend in a way that looked like she was wondering what she should tell me.. Then she shruged and said there are a lot of wierd people in the world so I wouldn't worry about it..

- Sometimes I don't get some jokes right away there is like a 5 second lag and people sometimes lauph at me because of it.. I will say that doesn't happen all the time, but makes me wonder..

I am sure I could come up with more points but I hope this is sufficent. I don't know if it is worth me geting tested at this age.. I am sort of afraid it might make me think I am stupid, but I always thought that at times anyway. I would get VERY hard on myself and self aware.. Now I wonder if that was my way of adjusting to the world and trying to keep myself in sync with all the NT people sort of thing.. *shrug*

I will say sometimes I can see where maybe I am really normal and maybe I am just being too hard on myself or trying to find something to blame my totaly lousy social skills on. Yet I can't help but think that if I was diagnosed a whole lot of things would make sence all of a sudden..

I honestly don't know how much of an active poster I will be here. I sort of got forum'ed out over the past few years. I hope to find that maybe there are some people I can relate to here as well as maybe get some questions answered etc..

Thanks all.. its getting late so I might come back later and fix all the spelling etc...

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Thanks Tim I hope I didn't over do it. I can get into this mode of writing a book sometimes..

A book? That was an introduction in 47 volumes.

Welcome aboard.

Welcome to the forum that was quite an intro, I think you will be at home here.

Welcome to WP, GeekEngineer.

I hope you like posting here, and don't forget to join the Church of Garlic. If you want the pain to go away, and to be a part of something greater than yourself, bite into a raw clove of Garlic tonight. And for a donation of just $19.95, we'll send you a leather bound copy of the Holy Book of Garlic.

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What was THAT ???? The Epistle of GeekEngineer???

*raises hand in welcoming sign and mumbles a few words in Elvish* Are you an INTP? Just curious... and welcome, by the way.

INTP Central is a good place to hang out. I've lurked there for awhile... though I'm somewhat of an *outcast*. I'm a very unique hybrid between an INTJ and an ISTJ with a little bit of INTP thrown into the mix.

Hello.. all..

Yeah I usually test out as an INTP, but I think I do have some INFP qualities too. Hence probably why I write the long winded posts. I was very active on INTP central for a while, but slowly started to feel like an outcast there lately.. Hopefully this place will be better..

I went to this dinner for six thing tonight. It is a service were you go out to dinner with three ladies and three guys. Tonight actually cheared me up a lot. When I am a little nervous I tend to just make fun of myself and I think a couple of the women sort of thought that was cute or something. Then later one gal was talking about how the watress was touching her and decided to show the group by touching me on the shoulder.. At first I reacted by jumping away and then I realized what I did and lauphed then decided to enjoy it. lol. Then later the other lady next to me started touching me on the shoulder a couple of times too. So my guess was they were sort of teasing me but it was sort of nice for some reason and gave me a little shot of confidence for what it is worth.. Granted I may never see these women again, but it was fun tonight. I like this idea of dinner with a small group of people, very good for someone who doesn't too well in large groups of people. Sometimes I have had bad dinners though. Those are usually the ones with a bunch of extroverted guys who hit on all the women all the time so I get left out in the cold. I have been doing this for a while now as a way to learn how to be better socially. I think it has helped me a lot actually.

Well I had better stop before I write another book..

Hi GeekEngineer and welcome to WP. Hope you enjoy your time here.

Welcome to WP GeekEngineer. Haha, my ACT scores were lopsided in the opposite direction.