Hi.
This is about my struggle with Aspergers.
I found this when searching for some answers.
I found out a couple of years ago that I might have Asperger Syndrome. It all started with a friend of mine that has a daughter that has it. She asked me once if I had it, and I said no. I didn't know.
Then a few months after that, the subject of the week in my English class was Aspergers and Autism. I realized that my friend might be right. All my life I knew I was different than others. I never had any friends as a kid, and I was bullied at school. I have quite a pretty violent and screwed up childhood, and nobody cared enough to notice really how different I was. Of course, I never really let anybody in, or trusted anybody. I understand that mom knew from the time I was a toddler, or so she told me when I brought up the possibility of me having Aspergers. She told me she just didn't think it mattered. The communicative talent in my family is far from good. Mom didn't tell me if I was ever diagnosed, and I have learned not to ask questions.
Although I was diagnosed with Tourettes, severe ADHD, OCD and Depression when I was 9. I was diagnosed with Dyslexia around 15.
I'm not really excelling in any subjects in school, although my math teacher tells me that I'm extremely smart. Nobody's ever been able to teach me math, because people tend to not understand my questions, and I tend to not understand people's explanations. All the math I know is self-taught. It takes me a lot of time to do my math assignments because I have to figure out how to work the problems by myself. My math teacher was going through my math examples once and then told me that I seem to be very independent because I used different methods to the ones he's taught. He told me that I appear to be very smart, but that my ADHD is probably keeping me back. Then he asked me if I had Asperger Syndrome.
Nobody's ever been able to teach me languages either. I learned English via the internet, and observation. I didn't know a single word in English 5 years ago, despite having been in English classes for 6 years. It's still a work in progress. Although, I think it's quite good for only 5 years of observing. I learned Danish when I was five, when I went to visit my uncle in Denmark for two weeks. I also learn lyrics to songs extremely quickly. I also know a little bit in Icelandic Sign language from observing deaf people communicate.
I have a large chosen family, most of them having some kind of disorders, including a foster father. I love him very much... I think. I spent X-mas with him. He is bi-polar and he's been helping me deal with having Aspergers. He's been helping me search for answers and how to deal with living with Asperger.
My foster sister also has Aspergers, but not as severe as mine. I don't know if I love her, but I feel comfortable with her. I can usually ask her when I need help with social situations. She usually knows what might be socially acceptable and what is a social requirement, while I usually don't. She was diagnosed with Asperger a few weeks ago, after her mother told her that she had it but had never had her diagnosed.
People often think I'm angry when they read what I write, when I truly am not. People often assume that I am in some kind of a mood when I truly am not in any kind of mood at all. I mean, I do feel feelings sometimes, and I do have bad and good days, but my most common feeling is blank. Although, my chosen family can usually guess when I'm having a bad day from observing me in various situations and moods.
I love observing people. It amazes me. I might not understand a lot of what's happening, but I think it's really interesting. I also love pets. Mom's friend says that I'm like a walking encyclopedia about pets.
I don't know a lot about Aspergers, since I've known I had it for only two years.
I'm planning on getting a diagnosis for my Asperger soon, despite not knowing if I've been diagnosed in the past. I checked in my profile that it's been diagnosed because I could not find a better fitting option and there's no question that I have it.
Okay, so I realize that this is a bit long. I have observed from various people that most people expect to not have to read such a long text. I have a hard time filtering un-nessessary details out of what ever I write, so everything I write tends to get quite long.
_________________
Ingz.
I see weird things every day... It's called Normal.
The Broad Autism Phenotype Test: Autistic/BAP. You scored 106 aloof, 129 rigid and 115 pragmatic.
The AQ Test: Score: 41
The EQ Test: 13, The SQ Test: 99... Extreme Systemizing
12 Feb 2012, 8:47 pm
