New here, 27/m, recently diagnoses aspie.
My story of diagnosis actually begins before the diagnosis itself. 7 months ago I used MDMA and had a life changing experience from it. I had a strong realization that happiness is a choice. My idea was to consistently make a conscious effort to recognize what I was thinking, asses if the subject material was creating negative or positive feelings, and change subject if needed to a known positive. When I was rolling, the feeling of happiness was unlike anything I experienced in my life, beyond anything I imagined possible to even feel. After my first experience I felt completely different, like I was suddenly aware of myself. My confidence went through the roof, my sex life was actually existent(good wingman is to thank), and I started dancing for the first time of my life(I'm 27). This however led to abuse. 3 months in the "magic" went away, my mind went back on myself, and so I stopped my excessive use. Except now things were different, my mind was on me, but it was searching for answers. For the first time in my life I truly observed communication between people when it was irrelevant to myself. For the first time in my life I felt some level of peer acceptance.
Quick notes:
I personally reagent tested all mdma I took to ensure it is present. and isn't adulterated.
I'm not sure about the rules here on discussion of narcotics, so do not take any of this as me advocating use.
I am skipping specifics on my experiences during this time. As amazing as the stories may be, it is subjective to my environment
Ok so at this point I decided to tell my story online. Someone contacted me and explained why he thought I had aspergers. I had never researched Autism and immediately began. Im sure you have all heard this many times, but as I read more and more it all fit together like a puzzle. I kept going back to my childhood and it began to make sense. ADHD diagnosis from 1st grade on was because my mind was constantly thinking about what IT wants. My own interests consumed me. My mother dismissed the ADHD diagnosis. She excused it as me being bored, and rationalized this stance by pointing out how I could concentrate deep on my hobbies. Well no s**t huh? It didnt strike her as odd that I would read statistics for 3-4 hours on end. Nothing odd about shooting and charting 1000 free-throws. Then measuring various statistics, charting percentages, and graphing various trends throughout. I presume her denial is caused by personal bias, however my father has always known I am different but never tells her.
I have been in therapy for 2 months with the goal to change my life so I can be around people with interests similar to my own. My therapist specializes in Autism spectrum, and she agreed with my psychiatrist's diagnosis. I have only told a few peers, but am not sure what to do with my parents. I have no idea how they would react, but I feel like I really need to tell them.
There is so much more I feel like saying but ill call it right here for tonight.
27 Mar 2012, 3:05 am
