Salutations and Introductions!

Post Reply New Topic

Hi! I'm new to wrongplanet, though I've been lurking a lot for the last week or so. I'm also new to the concept of my "quirks" having the name Aspergers!

I'm a 24-year-old female whose upcoming wedding (and short guest list!!) has necessitated taking a closer look at a severe difficulty to form and maintain relationships. I've always just sort of felt like I didn't fit in, like there was something wrong or defective about me. A good friend's 12-year-old was recently diagnosed with AS, and I just couldn't stop noticing the similarities between his behaviors/interests/idiosyncrasies and my own, as a child and now.

I casually brought it up to my fiance, who just sort of said "that's interesting" at first, and then later confessed that he had a strong suspicion that I might have Asperger's. We went through some characteristic lists together, and I was just sort of in shock- it's me. I was hesitant to bring this internet self-diagnosis to my psychiatric nurse practitioner, thinking she would dismiss the idea, but she just said she was pretty sure that's what's going on here.

I've been treated for depression and severe social anxiety for as long as I can remember. The ADHD diagnosis came around age 20, and that has really helped to make things clearer... however, no one really brought up the underlying underlier, most likely because I am SO GOOD AT FAKING... and that is truly how I have always felt, like it is so much WORK to just exist among other people sometimes. I never understood why. One of my "obsessions" has been to study, study, study human behavior and social interactions, out of desperation to do whatever was necessary to fit in, to have friends, to feel a sense of belonging and mutual understanding. I'm a psych major and I work with kids where most are neurotypical but a handful are somewhere on the autistic spectrum. In all this searching for self-understanding and social integration, how did I never see this before?

Sorry for the long intro! Thanks for reading and for posting your own perspectives/stories/experiences. It's been incredibly insightful for me to read these things as I try to make sense of all the information.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome! The diagnosis was a relief, then? Maybe, if you do keep studying people like you describe, you will learn enough? I think I'm finally beginning to get somewhere with that, myself, at long last! Do you blame the square pegs for not fitting into the round holes? If you're getting married, I wildly assume you love the guy & its better having a few people you like/ want at the ceremony than lots of people you don't, really, want there, right?

Thanks! Yeah, the diagnosis (or pseudodiagnosis) is a HUGE relief but has also become a bit of a preoccupation in the last few days. I have yet to bring it up with my mom, though I feel it would make SO much sense if she were willing to accept it, when thinking over all the conflicts we've had, particularly surrounding issues of intention (she's always accusing me of "twisting" things around or "misinterpreting").

Nah, it's not the faults of the square pegs. They're just trying in the wrong holes.

And you are totally right about the wedding guest list. For a good three weeks, though, I've been paralyzed in planning because the fiance had 4 attendants and I could only come up with two.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Your username cracks me up.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welkome to WP

Mick

To WrongPlanet!! !