hi, i am new at this site and believe myself to be an aspie

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Hi folks!

I guess myself to be an aspie and would like to write here sometimes, because of the amount of posts!
I am german, 28 years old. (I already read the requests for communications in german
in another area of that forum and maybe want it too.)
I expect to gain more information from here about aspergers spectrum and I have a lot of questions to
be answered!
I' ve got a lot of special interests, most have to do with computers, but languages and others as well.
But anyway, I have a lot of problems in communication and few social skills, especially in
adequate eye contact and to hold up a conversation. That is, what my environment (is this word correct?
- better "fellow man"?) notice.
I have a good job, but I'm not sure to be capable to do it for longer time.
So my first question is: How good can an aspie become in his job? (Especially in
Jobs with lot of human interaction and negotiations?)

Because of my problems with other people, I am highly interested in new friendship.

Thanx a lot for your reply!

Welcome to WP!

I am also into computers and languages.

Tim

Suilad, Manuel and welcome to WP. If you're interested in computers, there is a large section of a forum devoted to computers and technology here and you will find others who are interested in computers, as well.

Although people with AS have a deficiency in social skills and interpersonal communication, this can be overcome and people with AS can learn to function normally with people. Social skills can be learned. Interpersonal communication can be learned through watching others and seeing how they react. People can be learned just as science can be learned.

People with AS have the potential to rise in their jobs, but many don't. Much of it may be due to social skills and people interactions. If you can master social skills and perform among people just as any NT would (observation and imitation of competent NTs is a good way to learn this skill), you could potentially rise very high in your job. AS has an advantage of being able to focus and use logic in everyday life. Use your skills and talents to your advantage, but do not neglect the areas in which you are deficient.

You remember the story of Archilles? He was pretty much invincible, except for he could die if an arrow or blade cut his heel or the back of his leg (near his ankle). He had a huge advantage over other people, yet it was his weakness that ended up costing him his life. Don't let your interpersonal skills do that for you.

By the way, welcome and well met. I hope you enjoy your stay here at WP.

I forgot how to say Hello in German, or else I would, Manuel. (Well, in ways other than "Hallo," which is too easy.)

I too am interested in computers. I am not interested in programming or gaming nearly as much as I am in electronics design and artificial intelligence.

Thank you xon, Namiko and Tim_Tex!

it feels good to get this confirmation, to be on the right way.
Sometimes I ask myself, how to get rid of all that trouble,
but I guess all in all it is worth.
Not at least in considering: "What comes next than? What can I do instead of?"
You are absolutily right in what you said, Namiko. I recovered, that I am able to
copy people, unconsciously. But I get aware of it sometimes. I imitate the sound of
speach, accents and emphasis. And behavior, too.
And yes, I also believe it is a great plus, because it seams authentic!
But it is just facade, and behind that I am small and unconfident. But more and more
I believe in my accepted behavior, too. Someone here who feels the same?
But I guess it becomes too special now.

I'll make a little pause - will be back on friday or saturday.. bye!

Hello and welcome!

Geez, would like to help you out on the job thing, but I cannot decide what I want to be when I grow up?
And I am 35 yo! LOL

Hello,

Yes, maybe I agonize a lil bit too much. I should be more comfortable with my
situation, because all in all it goes well. Maybe I could just have more
friends (or friends at all), but anyway. (I even didn't know how to deal with them, if I had.)
The "Asperger's thoughts" are new to me, and I don't know how to handle it,
if i was right with that guess.
I think, maybe it just seems more complicated, as it really is, and it wouldn't be the
first time to me.

thank you!

I wished, I could write more frequently - but at least I can use my computer
on weekend.

Willkommen, Manuel!
I used to be a German teacher in Denmark, but teaching languages was very difficult for me, because of my difficulties with interpersonal skills I expect. I am a newly self-diagnosed Aspie, which I find answers a lot of questions about myself through the years.

One thing I've discovered is to avoid getting any sort of managerial position. If you can rise in your job to where your ideas are accepted but you don't have to be the one who has to sell them to upper management, then you're in great shape.

I once visited a company in Denmark whose owner has a brilliant idea that he got manufactured and sold, but he was smart to get people to do all the management things. I talked to one employee who said the owner needed people to capture his ideas and carry them out. But of course it helps to have enough money to employ the right people!

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

Hi Manuel. Welcome to WP:) ! My mother-in-law is originally from Jenin, Germany. Hope you enjoy it here.

Hi Juliette, larsenjw92286, bonbayel!
thank you, all. I didn't anticipate so much response - It's very kind of you.

bonbayel, ich würde Dir an dieser Stelle ja gern auf deutsch antworten,
aber ich versuch es vielleicht doch lieber mal auf englisch,
damit es auch noch ein paar andere verstehen können.
What you discribed is the same I discovered myself, too. For instance talking to more
than about three people is a really big problem:
Some issues, I initially wanted to be discussed, die down, if there are unexpected turnarounds
in the course of the conversation, because of the incompetence to lead the conversation, and
focus on the important issues.
(And the crazy ideas, I sometimes have, doesn't make it easier! )
So I guess, nobody would be listening to me, if I was in that position you discribed.
And, I can fully understand your problem as teacher. Speaking in front of my scool class
have always been pure stress to me - in particular giving talks on something!

Welcome to the forum Manuel!

Welcome!

Just one thing I'd like to point out.

Remember that thinking you're aspergers doesn't mean you have to avoid speaking to people or get out of all social interaction.

Sure its really hard for us, its really hard for me, but the more I learn, the better able I am.

For example, last night at a party, I was left out half the time, however I found someone very obsessed with music (my primary and pretty much sole drive) and through that ended up playing banjo for two hours!

I'm lucky because I have a younger brother, who is NT, who is very close to me. Though half the things he says confuse me, I worked out the things I say confuse him just as much.

I realised that if I could work out logically the way he speaks to others and to me, I could apply this to my own interaction, I even worked out I don't have to create an image as much anymore, sure in any group bigger than 3 people I revert to a imitation of those around me, but in anything smaller I realised I can be myself, but simply use their way of relating as a tool.

Sure my expressions are exagerated, sure I obsess over my choice of topics, but I worked out I can make people laugh just by offering my view on things, I even worked out I could relate to NT's in more ways than I knew.

Afterall, we're all people.

However, I still have to be careful, in groups I tend to get overwhelmed, when I'm trying to analyse 4 conversations at once it can be nightmarish, but the more I learn, the greater the rewards, I've found that personally aquaintances work better for me than friends, because the loose yet firm nature of friendship confuses and upsets me.

Just some pointers, take them or reject them its all fine.

You are welcome!

It's nice to meet you!