Hello!

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Been lurking for awhile, a friend of mine put me onto this forum.

Semi - undiagnosed.

Instead of retyping a bunch of stuff, I'll just copy/pasta an email I just sent. I'll use "*" to censure location details:
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****** from autism society of ******* suggested to contact you re: autism assessment.

I am on disability so I cannot afford to pay for the testing/assessment but I still wish to because I need some answers.

I am currently 36.

Born with FAS. Mother drank and consumed pills right through the pregnancy. Assessed 3 times as a youth in school due to lack of typical development. Found I have dyscalculia and at the time I was hyperlexic, I started reading full sentences before I turned two. Also stated I was autistic though no official diagnosis exists in my records they thought I had ADHD, so at the behest of my mother, I was given ritalin and cylert for 6 years, to no effect. As an adult, I am most definitely NOT hyperactive. I was in GLD and SLD classes through most of my childhood. I only made it to grade 10 with some college thrown in.

I was diagnosed with bi-polar type 2 and borderline personality disorder 10 years ago while at ********* Hospital. I do not believe the diagnosis was correct, I simply do not have the cyclic mood swings. I suffer with depression but never ever get manic.

Now onto the reason I want to get an assessment done.

I'm hyper sensitive to temp changes, my body feels like its cold all the time even though I run a few degree's hotter than everyone else. I can sense things physically the others around me cannot.

My hearing is really sensitive, I can hear the flyback circuit in CRT TV's and humming of florescent lights. I can hear things other people cannot, I can hear things human beings shouldn't be able to hear. No I don't hear voices in my head......

My sense of smell is kinda on the extreme side, I can smell hot.... that's how I describe it, even when something is hot without giving off a smell, I can smell heat..... annoying.

I'm very photosensitive, I never go anywhere without my shades, I'll even wear them inside if the lights are to bright.

I feel like an idiot when in a group of people, I say things that get me strange looks all the time... It's not due to what I'm saying being untrue, it's more that what I've said is too honest or I've researched the topic of discussion before hand (ad nauseam) and I overwhelm them with details. It's really bad at home when my boyfriend visits after work, I guess I tend to go on and on, details!

I talk either to quietly or to loudly, no happy medium it seems.

I have routines, I do things generally the same way everyday, if someone or something interferes with my routines it causes me problems.

I don't like being touched, unless I'm ready for it, like at all.

My libido is no existent, I haven't made love to my boyfriend in five years.... This one really bothers me. It's going to ruin my relationship.

My clothing has to be soft with no tags, I always wear the same type of clothing. I can't even handle having tags on my bedding.

I have a real problem with food textures, which means I don't have a lot of variety in my diet.

I can't read people. I get in trouble from my boyfriend for pestering him about how he's feeling. I can tell when people are upset or angry or happy only when they are crying, yelling or laughing.. Any other time I just can't tell, gets me into trouble sometimes.

Anxiety!! ! Holy crap! Just to go to the store for smokes is a hassle. I don't go out very often, very much a house mouse. Just to go to the store for smokes, I have to have a plan, plan my route, plan and practice what I'm going to say to the person at the counter, plan my route home, etc etc.

Stimming - I chew stuff, mostly almonds now, but I also chew up the inside of my mouth, objects from my desk, my nails. To the point of giving myself a good does of TMJ on my left side. I also drum on stuff, tap, whistle, beep, blow "zerberts", sing, bounce my legs, pace when talking, rocking when I get really stressed out, cracking my knuckles, elbows, neck, knees and ankles. I make alot of damn noise essentially. Which I find odd because I don't like noise, I guess it's okay when I'm the one making it. I can kinda control the stimming, depending on the situation.

I've got no friends, I can't relate to people, compounding depression.

Basically, what this post boils down to, my life has been a mess from the get go, this is just a small taste of what I have to live with. So many wrong or dubious diagnosis, none of which have helped me to move forward with my life, if I knew what the problems were maybe I could address them and learn to live with it. As it stands right now it's rather unbearable. I've had at LEAST 150 different jobs, most of which I've been "let go" from. Any relationship I've had has been an utter failure. The relationship I'm in right now is falling apart because I can't relate (no empathy or so he tells me) I need a professionals opinion.

When I called the Autism society of ********** and talked to ********** I was very upset when she told me that the testing would cost upwards of $2000..... But that I should give you a call/email and see if you might be able to help me out or even give me suggestions on where to go and who to talk to.

Thank you for reading this email, sorry it's kind of wordy, I probably shouldn't be telling a total stranger all my problems in an email, but that's where I'm at right now.
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I probably shouldn't be posting all my personal crap in here either, but of all places, this seems like the right place.

You do sound like you are on the Autism spectrum of disorders, probably Asperger's Syndrome. Go into the General Autism forum here at WP. There is at least one post article with links to online tests you can take. Take the tests and save copies of them. Print out copies of your completed tests to take to a psych doc. Call around to find psych docs who have experience with adults on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum. See if you can find one who is cheaper, and who will take payments in installments.

Just remember, there is no cure for Autism spectrum disorders. There are however, some treatments, therapies, and coping methods that can help.

Word of advice. Don't crack your joints. Repeatedly doing that can damage them. And especially don't crack your neck. That can paralize or even kill you!

Regarding you and your BF. People who enter intimate relationships do so for affection. You have not been showing or giving any to your BF, and for a very long time. He is under no obligation to stay with you under those circumstances, unless there are kids. Hope there aren't, as you are driving your BF away. If you want to keep him you really need to start being affectionate with him again. If you don't want to, then end the relationship, so he can go find someone who will be a better match for him--who will be affectionate. I'm not saying this to be nasty, but because you are not being fair to him. Since he wants affection and you don't, the two of you are not a match, unless you are willing to change.

Sorry you've had such tough times. Hope your future is better.

Oh no, I don't think you are being nasty, it's the truth.

I'm not trying to push him away, and we are intimate in other ways and some ways very affectionate with one another..... this is one of the things I am looking to understand and deal with. maybe with better understanding on my part and with him in the loop, things might get better. I want to be intimate. I have been intimate, just not lately..... libido problem, part of that is a hormone problem, part of it has to do with being touched.

I crack my fingers and wrists to relieve pain, my mother broke all the fingers in both hands and wrists with a metal spatula when I was 6.

I broke my back when I was 17 when I hit a deer with a motorcycle while doing better than 200KPH My neck pops out, I pop it back in or suffer migraines. I know its bad, I have arthritis already. You are not the first person to tell me.

I broke my knee running from a class room full of grade 8 students as they were chasing me calling me ret*d, fell and broke it on a rock along a rail line, I rebroke it again when I slipped on water with my crutches after having surgery on it.

ALL of my toes have been broken repeatedly, seriously clutzy. Motor skills issues. Kinda why I have to look to type. I have even chipped the bone on both of my elbows.

Warm welcome to you! WP feels like home to me and I'm sure it will for you.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Hey!

Thanks for the welcome!

*EDIT*

You know, this forum is an excellent source of info and support. I really like the way people tend to treat each other here.

Slave: Thank you my friend. For pointing me to this amazing place.