Questions for Aspies about some of your experiences

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Hi. I am new to the forum. I'm 41, female, happily married for 9 years. I believe I may have Asperger's as I have many of the traits and I scored a 36 on the online "AQ" test. The following are some of my "quirks" that don't specifically match up with anything I've read about Asperger's. Have any of you diagnosed Aspies out there had similar experiences?

1. On Facebook, I love to read everyone else's posts, but I'm afraid to post something for fear of seeming silly or stupid. I'm very anxious when I send friend requests because I'm afraid the recipient will not want to accept the request, leading me to only friend people who I know will accept the request, foregoing requests to many people I'd like to friend, especially coworkers. When I do post something I obsess about what I wrote and whether or not anyone commented or "liked" it.

2. I am able to drive but it makes me extremely nervous, even if it's the same route I've taken hundreds of times before, like to/from work. I'm always worried I'm going to miss a turn and often do even though I know the route. Sometimes street and building signs overwhelm me - I try to read each and every word on every sign, even realty signs or handwritten garage sale signs. I'm unable to filter those out and focus on what's relevant. I cannot park properly. It takes me three or four times just to get inside the lines, and even then the car is still crooked, and I always avoid parallel parking altogether.

3. I can sort of remember faces but I can NEVER remember names.

4. From what I've read an aspie has difficulty staying in a relationship, but I have been with my husband for 12 years, married for 9, and I believe we have a very loving marriage. My husband is the only person I have ever felt close with. I have never felt close to anyone else, even my parents or sister. Are there any other married aspies out there who can provide some insight?

5. When I'm in the supermarket I continuously find myself in someone else's way and I find this extremely irritating. This doesn't seem to happen to "normal" people. I often have the irrational feeling that I'm being attacked by all the other shoppers.

Well, welcome to Wrong Planet. I'll answer your questions the best I can.



I haven't been on Facebook in awhile, because I obsessively worried over this a lot. I finally taught myself that it isn't really important, and that Facebook is just a form of entertainment. Just enjoy what you see, and remember that you don't have to contribute anything if you don't want to.
(I know, it's kind of hard to accept advice from a 16 year old, especially one who's on the spectrum herself.)



I'm actually well accustomed to driving, but parallel parking really gets on my nerves as well. I guess it's just a matter of relaxing and getting where you need to go.



I can relate to this. I made a new friend once, and didn't actually remember what her name was until about six months later. All I have to say is keep trying.



I'm none of the above, but I believe it is possible for an Aspie to be in a successful relationship.



This happens a lot, to Aspies and NT's alike. But it's more awkward than anything else for me.

It sounds possible that you may be an Aspie/on the spectrum. I'd try to seek a professional diagnosis from an Autism specialist if you want to know for sure, because the internet isn't entirely reliable, despite being so resourceful.

Anyways... Welcome (again!) to Wrong Planet. I hope you find what you're looking for, and that my insight helped.

married three years to my best friend. used to be very close to my mom.

can't park worth a darn. it's a spatial learning disability. LD's do go along with AS.

don't worry much about what i post on facebook, but never post anything that would let my christian friends know i'm now an agnostic or atheist. don't want them worrying over my non-existent eternal soul.

welcome to WP.

Hi Sally7171! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. Dump Facebook. It is not worth a hill of beans, and can get you in trouble. Contact any real friends and family by email, phone, snail mail, or in person. I have never had a Facebook account, and don't plan on ever doing it.

You need to remind yourself that you don't need to read non essential signs while out driving. Doing so can endanger you and others, if it interferes with your driving. Don't worry if you miss a turn. It's very simple. Turn at the next side street or exit and come back to the correct place, or work your way to your destination from the later turn. I live alone now, but I spent most of my life living with various relatives. At one point I had been living with my mother and older brother. When our mother passed away we moved to PA. I had never been to the new house--it was my brother's purchase. On moving day he gave me directions to the new house, and went on ahead, along with some stuff in his car, to get things ready for the moving men. I came on later with some stuff in my car and with the dog. At some point after entering PA, I was supposed to turn off that highway, onto another one, but somehow missed the sign for the next highway I was supposed to switch over to. I went on and on long after I was supposed to turn off. I eventually realized I was way too far along, and turned around. I eventually found my turn off, and headed on to the new house. I have missed other turns over the years, but it really is simple to just turn around at the next exit or side street. While it is somewhat annoying when that happens, I just tell myself that I am taking the "scenic" route.

I can parallel park if there is enough room and the road isn't too busy, but everyone does have to manuever while doing it, as it is more difficult. I actually did it yesterday. One of the mini marts in town has no parking lot. You just pull up and park on the street by the curb. The street is wide enough for this, and you are allowed to park there as long as you don't block a nearby driveway, or park too close to a nearby intersection.

If you have a Walmart Super Store or other 24 hour super market, try shopping during the off hours, like late at night or early in the morning. Just park under the lot lights, and near the doors for safety's sake. I've occasionally gone shopping at such weird hours, and it isn't hectic or crowded then. The exception would be during a major holiday season, like Christmas.

I have a terrible memory for both names and faces. I will bump into people on my occasional errand runs who recognize me and start chatting with me, and I'm standing there in my "social and friendly" mode, struggling to figure out who they are. It's especially embarrassing, as I've hardly been anywhere and hardly met anyone since I moved here several years ago.There aren't that many people for me to remember in relation to this area, but I still can't remember them. We recently had our state primary, and when I went to vote, it happened again with one of the ladies manning the polling place. She finally realized I was drawing a blank on her, and reminded me that until recently she had lived in one the other trailers in my trailer park. Then I remembered her, and that she has dogs that she used to walk here, and that I had spoken to her and her dogs a number of times when she used to walk her dogs here.

I am glad that you have a successful relationship with your husband. I was never any good at any kind of social relationships. I am an introverted hermit type of person. I spend most of my time alone, by choice, but I know that some people who are alone would rather be with others, and are unhappy when that doesn't happen. So you are very fortunate in having found and kept a good relationship.

And remember, you are among friends here at WP!

Thanks for the wonderfully honest replies. After trolling through the various WrongPlanet threads I am now almost certain I have Asperger's. I have decided to look into getting a psychiatric evaluation so I'll know for sure.

Welkome to WP

Mick

5. When I'm in the supermarket I continuously find myself in someone else's way and I find this extremely irritating. This doesn't seem to happen to "normal" people. I often have the irrational feeling that I'm being attacked by all the other shoppers.

Wow, you too? Sure can get weird sometimes, I swear they are stopped in the aisle shopping and when I start to go past them they start moving and we get in each others way. It happens like alot. Its uncanny. I figured I gave off some weird vibes that does I know not what to them. Aren't they aware I'm going by? Why move right then? I had one lady say I was so quiet she didn't know I was there. OK, maybe I'm quiet but the cart makes noise. Logically, its just some coincidence, but really can feel bizarre sometimes.