Hello everybody (everyone who read this anyway),
My name is Jamie and I'm sixteen. I've just found out about this website and I'm very excited to talk to people who actually have AS and who can maybe help me figure out if I do. Of course I am going to talk to my doctor about it when I go the first week of December but I thought this would be a great place to get my footing.
To start off I also need to mention that I'm diabetic and have been since I was ten, there isn't much else to say about that at the moment instead I want to talk about what makes me think that I have AS.
When it comes to the social problems I am kind of here and there, I do have problems with eye contact and finding appropriate body language to use in conversations. The worry about the way I'm standing or if I'm doing the socially correct thing. I don't do this all the time but I can't recall doing this on many, many occasions.
I think I've learned behaviors to do in social situations that have helped me. I don't think I've always been good at being social, in fact I used to be very very shy but lately people have told me that they think I am very outgoing and mature for my age. Sometime when I go out (which is rarely) I feel like I am acting and I have to go into "social mode". Not sure if this is normal.
When it comes to speech and language I see symptoms. Taking things literally for example: Tonight my mom was washing dishes and she said, "I could use about 6 ibuprofen right now", so I walked into the bathroom without saying a word, got six and brought them back to her. She turned around and said,"oh I didn't mean six, that would kill me". As soon as I was standing in front of her and I opened my hand and I saw that I had six I realized that that didn't make sense. I thought to myself, "why did I do that...I know you really can't take six."
I also use words "idiosyncratically" as one page put it. All the time I just come up with weird phrases that my family finds really funny and we usually start using them as inside jokes. My most recent one is instead of saying "okey dokey", I realized the similarity between that and the phrase, "onkey donkey". It sounds really stupid...
Also if someone says, "Beetlegeuse" then I HAVE to say it two more times like in the movie. Or...tons of other things that if someone says it I have to finish it or say it again or repeat it.
I have very messy handwriting and I always have, when I went to public school the teachers would always tell me that I wrote a great report but they could hardly read it. I try to write neat but most of the time it comes out horrible.
And oh got the narrow intense interests...when I was about 5 I started becoming interested in dogs. Most little kids love dogs and say they want one but I was asking for a Dalmation by name and explaining why this dog would be good for me and the history of the breed. From age four until I was about 8 I collected mini plastic dogs of every breed and could name them all. I read all the books I could about dogs, dog training, etc.
Today I can give you a brief or detailed description (depending on the breed) of every dog registered with the American Kennel Club. My obessions isn't what it once was but sometimes it picks up again.
January of this year I discovered a show called "Law & Order: Criminal Intent", after I saw the first episode (on repeat) I was hooked. So then it only took me about two and a half months to see, record and catalog all five seasons off the tv. Some time earlier this year I also discovered "The X-files". It took me about 4 months to see all nine seasons and the movie. I've seen every episode numerous times and could explain the characters and plots to you backwards and forwards. I was obsessed and watched nothing else for months.
I finshed it and now I'm back to CI because it has a new season that I can keep up with. I am probably most obsessed with Detective Goren because I could tell you history down to where he was stationed in Germany in 1987. I'm still working out the kinks in a website with all the info you could ever need on him.
The military is another thing I've become obsessed with, learning everything about it. This is recent.
Forensics and criminology is also something I get into every other week and I just immerse myself in it. Seriel killers and detailed crime reports...
I could go on and on about all the weird intense interests that I've had. Oh one more...the band Good Charlotte...at one point I could tell you every tattoo on every band member's body and where it was on said member. Sometimes even what they meant...there are four guys in the band...and a lot of tattoos.
I find myself moving a part of my body almost constantly, if I sit in a certain place or I am at a certain place I have to sit a certain way. I always sit on my left hand when I am on the computer. Sometimes I do it to keep it warm other times for no reason at all. I have to sit on one end of the couch, my toothbrush CAN'T touch anyone elses....EVER.
I run into doorways a lot, walls, fridges, I trip and nearly fall A LOT. And for apprently no reason. I just...sort of fall over...
I have routines that I follow, esp at night. Turn computer monitor off, then lamp, feed rats, play CI tape, get in bed, lay there for a while, go to sleep. Has to be this way.
Sometimes I have a real hard time sleeping, like I don't at all, I go 24 hours without sleeping. Sometimes I sleep way too much and I don't want to. It comes and goes.
I can't sleep in silence and I always have to have something for noise or movement. I am scared of the dark and always have been. Athough now I can sleep in a room with only tv light.
Repeated movement annoys me to the point where I'm getting seriously pissed at my sister and I want to yell...sometimes I do. If I am sitting on the couch and she is moving her leg and foot over and over again I can't stand it. Little things like that...sometimes the ticking clock in the living room drives me nuts. The sound the microwave makes, the sound of someone else typing on the computer makes me want to scream.
I also am worried that I am bi-polar but I can talk about that later.
Sorry if this was too long for anyone...I just had to get this off of my chest. No one else in my house will really talk about the possibility that I might have AS, I think out of fear that they think something is wrong with me. If I do have AS thing I don't think there is anything wrong with me...I would really just like to know so I can understand and not feel like I'm so different.
25 Nov 2006, 4:40 am
