Hello

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Joined: 4 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 5

05 Jul 2012, 5:23 pm

Hello, forum.

I don't have a diagnosis, but I've always felt like something was wrong with me. I've been reading a lot about Asperger's and Autism since my daughter was diagnosed with the latter and it looks to me like I'm probably an aspie. A lot of the experiences and perspectives I've read on this site really hit close to home.

My main concern is that I worry way too much about communication. I can say exactly what I mean, but it might be misunderstood. Or I might forget something that is said to me. Sometimes I feel like I can't trust the communication process at all and that it's hopeless. My wife is very outgoing and my struggle to communicate with her effectively is a source of a lot of frustration on both sides.

I have not voiced my suspicion that I have Asperger's except in passing... once. I don't want it to appear that I'm trying to wave away my problems with a label or piggyback on my daughter's condition. And I'm afraid what my friends and family would think of me if I claimed to have it.

I also have a hard time wrapping up my thoughts.

-Mike

InThisTogether
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Joined: 3 Jul 2012
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,709
Location: USA

06 Jul 2012, 7:59 pm

Hi, Mike,

Having our kids diagnosed it what leads a lot of us to finally understand what's been going on our whole lives. I would not consider myself AS (though I am probably a shadow), and I definitely have ADD. I would have never known that my problem was ADD until my son was diagnosed and I was trying to learn to help him.

I understand your feelings about how people might react if you said something, but honestly, I think it made my mother feel relieved to know I have ADD. She said it made a lot of things about my childhood make a lot more sense. Like why punishing me when I failed to initiate or follow through on things didn't work. Or why I would spend hours doing my homework, but not turn it in. Or how when I told her I didn't know how to clean up my room, I really meant it, I was not just trying to get out of cleaning my room.

If you just hang back and spend time educating your family and friends about your daughter, there might just come a time when you won't have to share your suspicions with them. They might see it for themselves.