Hi, this will probably be long, if you like you can skip the boring bits.
I am a 31 yo male in australia, I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome a couple of years ago but havent really looked into it since till recently, I still dont know if I definately have it but my mother also has been diagnosed with it, growing up I was diagnosed as hyperactive and spent alot of time on dexamphetamine against my will, when ever i did anything wrong the comment from people was usually "has he taken his tablets?" while other kids could get away with whatever s**t they liked so that part wasn't much fun.
In primary school bullied until I kicked the main school bully real hard in the guts leaving him crying on the ground, i did it in fear but life at school got a little easier after that, I had to do the same in high school, I usually was in the popular group but was the goof that would get luaghed at all the time. I was always the one everybody knew and either loved or hated, I wasn't a very ugly kid and when a new girl would come too the school I was often the first one they liked then the first one they hated.
I have never been able to enjoy popular music and sometimes even get to the point were I start to feel angry when i hear it, I cant lsten to radio or go to your average night club for this reason, people say i need to stop being so narrow minded and widen my taste but its too hard for me to appreciate. I also cant stand football soccer, cricket, tennis etc but have been fortunate that all my friends are the same except some can tolerate pop chart music a little better tha me.
I have read through this sight a little and seem to notice many aspies iterests lean towrds sci fi, science, computers, computer games and stuff, I am opposite, i get bored quick if i try and play a video game, i couldnt stand star treck, v, x files and all that stuff, I am more like someone who would be in the shed welding away with some music playing, before i got married i spent most of my time around other people or out cruising for chicks, I had no problem getting girls interested in me, the tough bit was saying and doing the right stuff to not scare them off. for a couple of years i was kind of real popular and it didnt matter what i did, people thought i was a little nuts but real cool, when i started seeing my wife I stoped socailisig and now dont really keep contact with anyone, the people i work with think i am rude becuase i butt into conversations or talk about something other than the topic but it sucks becuase the people I work with know nothing about what I am into and i find their stuff extremely boring like whos playing soccer in what country.
At school I didnt do to well, I could never work out if i was dumb or smart, most people thought I was dumb, no one at work seems to be able to work me out, i have had people ask me sometimes if i pretend to be stupid and I ask them if they pretend to be smarter than they are but they probably dont pretend, they are just normal people acting normal. At school I did far better than everybody else in art, I was ok at getting answers right in maths but struggled when the working out had to be shown. in science I was often bored, most of the stuff we did i science in high school i had figured out already at home years before, although I have no interest in electronics now i often experiented with electronic circuits when I was 8-10 years old and usaully pulled my new expensive toys apart to modify them. i must have been the only kid in infants school who would come to school with soldering iron burns on my fingers, i never wanted to be labelled as a geek and often hung with rebellious kids who were also doing bad at school and most teachers hated me but there were also a few classes were i was the teachers pet, after school i often socailised istead of doing my homework, I had friends every were who i met in surrounding streets were as my brother stuck to only having friends from school.
I still am not 100% convinced I have aspergers but I do have a problem with facail expressions, people say i am good keeping a straight face but some times i get half way through a joke and crack up myself or forget the other half of the joke, i dont know how bad i am with body language but i sure dont talk with my hands, i am most comfortable talking with a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other. sometime whe i tal i get a smirk wich gives people the wrong impression. I can talk quite a bit as you can see from this post but i try to avoid people who talk about football, soccer, gardening tenis, golf etc, fortunately my friends are the same but its different at work were i dont chose my friends.
My interest kind of comes with its own culture that affects the way i dress, the car I drive and what i listen to in music we are looked at funny in a shopping centre or somewere but dont care, to us they kinda look pretty dam uncool. it feels good to be different and i wouldnt be cought dead in public looking like everyone else, i feel like i would die off embarassment if i looked like the general public.
I hate being me but wouldnt want to ever be anyone else.
25 Nov 2006, 10:39 pm
