Hi, think I'm an Aspie

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Hello,

I'm a 25 yr-old female, and I think I have aspergers. I've felt this way for a while now. I don't know if all of these are true indicators of Aspergers, so bare with me if they aren't. Sorry this is such a long post, but I'm waiting to see a therapist, and I admit I'm a little anxious to see what others think about the possibility I have Aspergers. No need to read the whole thing or any of it I could be missing other obvious signs too, these were just the ones that I noticed right away, especially on the girls with aspergers lists


I do possess above average intelligence, especially in math (I'm an actuary now). Math has always come extremely naturally to me. I didn't have to think about it, it just was. English was tougher....

I've never been quite able to understand people around me. I've always been a mimic, and as such have always felt like a fraud, and a fake. I was a follower growing up, because it allowed me to have friends. My mother and one friend both told me that I acted very differently with each friend I hung out with. I never thought I did, but now looking back, I can sort of see what they were saying, but not totally.

I get along much better with people 50+ than I do with my peers. Understanding my peers has always been the most difficult for me.

I am extremely sensitive to sunlight, and have to wear my sunglasses outside until it's dark. I'm also touch sensitive. Cotton balls are my main downfall. They're like nails on a chalkboard. And since I was little, I've run every piece of cloth I found between my fingers. I now do this with paper nearly all day at work, almost undoubtedly annoying my coworkers, but I just can't stop.

When I was little, my idea of play was to line up and "organize" my stuffed animals. I did the same thing with the hundreds of rocks I collected.

I have very black-and-white thinking. Either something's right, or it's wrong. And when something happens in a gray area (or right turns out to be wrong or vice versa) I get extremely confused. It's not quite as bad now as it used to be, as I find that I can adjust my views afterward for the future (ex, when I said I was taking my younger sister to a Taylor Swift concert, my coworker said his brother loved Taylor Swift; I promptly laughed and said "really??" I did not mean to be rude, but in my mind "boys could not like Taylor Swift".)

Going along with the black-and-white thinking, I always feel the need to tell the truth. No matter what is going on, no matter if it's embarassing to someone else, etc. It took me a very long time to conceptualize what a lie was and how one went about telling it.

Further continuing this line of thought, I have very compartmentalized thinking. I talk to these people at work, these people after work....it stresses me out to no end when two of these compartments "mix".

I see patterns in everything. I've always had to stop the microwave/vcr/etc on a "pattern" (1:21, 2:22, etc). For no other reason than I think it's "neat".

I grew up far slower than my peers. I still wanted to talk about my pet tamagachi when others were talking about boys. It was during this time period that I started to become more withdrawn, and basically cut myself off from my friends (or a few friends, and a few people who I thought were friends but really were just users).

I have an extreme obsession with genealogy (and one tv show). I will go on and on about it ad nauseum. Most of my obsessions have been tv-based, besides my rock collection, stuffed animal collection, and porcelain doll collection. I used to sit in my room for hours when I was a teenager, just watching the same taped eppis of one show over and over again.

I get worn out by the daily grind of trying to "socialize properly". After work and on the weekends, I prefer to be alone so I can decompress.

Sounds like I could have written this lol... May I add a few of my own and see if they "gel" with yours...

I get "stuck in a groove" - once an idea is in my head, there is no changing it. Sort of like a scratch in a record... it can never get unstuck, or delayed processing of the situation can sometimes dislodge it. I can get unreasonably adamant in times like these.

I get selective mutism. When I get emotional, I get repetitive negative thoughts, and no matter how much I would like to speak, I can not.

I wear my sunglasses in doors when my vision gets painful, especially in high contrast situations.

I am a highly visual thinker

I suck at math. Not just suck - but ++ suck ( I know you said you excel at math, but this one is a biggie in my list )

I am a natural artist - I paint, draw, and sculpt life like babies, and life like food, and now - doll house miniature food.

Driving! I never ever ever wanted to drive. I do now under a lot of pushing from my mom... but I still will never park in a place I have to back up!

I have issues reading and retaining - unless it is something I am ++ interested in.

I can not handle changes in my plans. Period. Unless you want me to melt down - don't waylay my plans!

I have severe auditory processing issues

Oh face blindness is a biggie! If my mom cuts her hair I don't even know her :/

Also mono processing.. hate that one.

Looking people in the eye is painful - even sometimes looking at the whole face too... I tend to look at lips or a temple instead...

And so many more to not bore you with... but I hope maybe those will spark some recognition in your self discovery... It is an important step you are taking

Try reading Aspergirls - it was great in many ways. Can get a preview of the ebook on google ebooks.

Good luck with the therapist

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet Good luck with your therapy appointment, I think you might be in the right place.

You sound like an Aspie to me miss! I hope your meeting goes well.

thanks everyone I just heard back from the doctor and I think I'm going to set up a diagnostic appointment for next week. Only thing is he doesn't take insurance Oh well, I feel like I need to know whether I have Aspergers or if I just have Social Anxiety. Right now I think it's SA caused by Aspergers.

@Valkyrie2012

Some of those sound like me too

Getting "stuck on an idea", yeah....I will just go over and over something long after I should

Reading & Retaining. I can read to have fun okay, but ask me something afterward & I am completely oblivious. Same with watching a movie. I can say "yeah it was good" but I forget everything that happened.

Looking people in the eye, I just can't get the hang of. Either I look away every 2-5 seconds (usually to their lips), or I feel like I just stare right through someone & I'm not sure which freaks them out more, lol.

For the changing plans, I don't mind that so much. I hate "moderate-big" changes, but most small changes I've learned to deal with.

I am curious, is bladder control issues another Aspie sign? I had issues with bed-wetting when I was little, along with general issues of knowing when I had to go. I generally didn't realize until it was too late. Fourth grade was the worst because it was the first year they didn't force us to go before lunch. I also had a weird habit for years and years where I couldn't go until I told someone and they said okay go....

Thanks

Yeah, light sensitivity does suck. I wish there was a way I could turn off the lights at work, unfortunately I'm in a cubicle.

Some other things, I constantly wring my hands, press/pinch my finger tips, and when I stand and talk to someone I have to have my arms crossed.

Also I have very little common sense. When I went to college I just said it was because I was sheltered, but the truth is my parents didn't really shelter me.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Welcome!

Welcome!