Hi I'm new, in my early 40s and always felt different...

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Hi, I'm Paspie and have not yet been diagnosed. I've felt different my whole life but am only now confronting it. It's a strange mixture of relief, resignation and sadness to be thinking seriously about being an aspie.

Welcome, and I kinda know how your feeling. I (and others around me) knew I was different all along, but I didn't get it figured out till very late like yourself. But try not to take it like you have just been told you were actually adopted, and your parents found you on the doorstep in a basket with a note from Aliens.

Without more investigation, it is also not certain as a diagnosis. You are certain something is different, but keep your mind open to it possibily being something else. It can be complicated and take quite a while to get a accurate picture of what is going on.

Remember too that Autistics have been probably around for millenia at least and may have been there all along as a natural part of the variation in the species. It is possible too that our skill sets has been a functioning and useful part of society since the earliest days. I follow archeology as a minor hobby, and DNA research has greatly expanded the ammount of info being learned about the past. I would not be surprised at all if one day we learn that Autistics had a role from the beginning, just like strong leadership types, or physically strong types, etc. This bit on our history is spectulation on my part, but not totally missing from current research and theories being put out there. As an example it has been suggested our predisposition made us better food gatherers or hunters in certain situations, as well as inferior in other situations. Within a society framework having both types worked better for the societies survival.

hiya Paspie you discovered it at the same age that i did.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WP! I'd like to add to what Toy Soldier said. True, we may find some of our past leaders, creative types, and philosophers may have been aspies. There is also the dark part of that revelation - some serial killers, mass murderers, and other criminals may have also been on the spectrum.

Hi Paspie! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. I am another late discoverer. Had big problems all my life. It was a big relief to finally find out why. You are among friends here at WP!

Hello Paspie, welcome to WP, I understand how you feel. I've always felt different and not from "this modern century." I'm really not sure if I'm an Aspie but I do suspect I have it because I've always felt different too and have been interested in a whole lot of topics that neurotypicals find 'nerdy' or strange.

I wish I had a real dignosis but I come from a family who feel sorry for different people and I don't want them to see me as a "dumb, socially challenged" person. Plus, I can't afford to go to the doctor for a diagnosis, and if I could get a dignosis, I would want to do it secretly because I'm self-conscious.
At least we all can be on the same boat here because we're interesting people

You are not alone. Most of us adult aspies feel exactly that way. Finding out as an adult rocks your world. You will find solace here. So, welcome to WP!

Hi redrobin62,

Just wanted to clarify what I meant to say. I was not suggesting you would find Autism among Leaders, only that you would find Autisics had performed useful roles in societies. I actually would guess (and a guess it is) that you would not find Autisics often in Leasdership roles due to having the wrong skill sets.

I do not doubt that you would find Autisics among the infamous, as you would find a sampling of all types of people. But I have never seen anything that suggests Autistics are over-represented in that group.

Hey

Great to talk.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Hello Paspie. I haven't been diagnosed yet either but also began strongly suspecting it later in life. I was in my late 40s when I started to wonder about this and it actually helps to explain a LOT of things about me and the things people find "odd" about me. You will find this website very helpful.

Hi and welcome to Wrong Planet

Thank you all very much for being so welcoming. I went to my first support group last week and although there seemed to be many people much further along the spectrum than I, I still felt very much at home (not much anxiety, not much self- consciousness etc.). I didn't feel like I had to act in front of them. Any social contact throughout my life has more or less been an act (changing myself, my mannerisms, my pronounciation, how i carry myself) depending on the crowd. It has always been so exhausting. I gave up maintaining friendships long ago for the most part. The main place that I have to 'socialise' now is work and I hate it. I dont fit in. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm strange, worry too much and are too sensitive. I'm not much in to sport either and in Australia that can make you feel like a real outsider. They love their bloody sport in this country. Especially team sports which are the complete antithesis of who I am.

Anyway, thats my rant for today. Sorry but I'm feeling particularly frustrated and anxious at the moment. I have a job interview tomorrow and I just want it over with.

I would give anything at the moment to be a teenager again. Just "live" in my bedroom reading, watching movies and listening to music. Sometimes I feel very illprepared for the real world - like a child.

I can relate to everything you said, Paspie! I don't feel like I fit in anywhere either. I just stopped trying to fit in at some point and the few friends I have that don't judge me are just fine. I'm glad you found a support group that makes you feel at home. Good luck on your interview tomorrow! Get a good night's sleep and try not to worry. Keep telling yourself that it WILL be over with before you know it...that moment is coming.