My Hubby is a Aspie and I Think His Family is Ashamed of It

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I am typically a happy person by nature but my hubbies family makes me sad. They seem to be ashamed of my beautiful Aspie hubby who is brilliant as the sun. (I married him for his gray matter and kindness.) His family of origin includes him very little in their lives and would prefer if I his wife was gone altogether tho I have never hurt them in any way. My hubby is very loyal to his family of origin but they anger him to no end by their treatment of me and their leaving him out almost all the time yet he cannot tell them much or they would be blown out of the water with the waves of anger. He represses all the time but the rare family events break down the repression. He does not know what to do and neither do I. I wish they loved him like I do and included him in their lives a lot. When he was 1st diagnosed in him mid 20s his family was not interested in learning about Asperger's and they still are not interested. I am not one iota (bit) ashamed of the most wonderful man and person in my life. How can he learn to cope with their shabby treatment of him? of us? I wish I could make them change to be nice but I do not have that kind of power. What is my honey to do?

Dear Krs,

Its a sad thing when the ones you love cannot accept or appreciate or love you in return, unconditionally. This is something that wounds deeply. You must protect yourself and your hubby against this situation or it can become debilitating. Some emotional distance and boundaries can be put up around the castle of your relationship so its not so easy for the negativity to get through. When people see that you're only open to positive interactions they often modify their behaviour. Don't be willing to accept unkindness.

Be proud of the fact that you have great taste and see beauty where others do not. As Shakespeare said "love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." You cannot change his family. I'm afraid trying to will just wear you down.

All the power to you!