NT in a relationship with an aspie guy

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Hi everyone, I'm Gabbie and I'm here to gain some insight into my boyfriend's mind. We've been dating for just over a year now and i'm struggling quite a bit with some of his behaviour. I do love him though, and I want to learn as much as I can so we can have a happy relationship.

I myself struggle with mental health difficulties which makes it difficult to communicate sometimes, when i'm really anxious or upset- he does not have these feelings and so can't understand where i'm coming from which is hard.

Nice to meet you all.

Hey Gabbie,

Glad that you have reached out - haven't been here long but these are great forums for discussing any issues you have. Please share more of your story - you might find that even if you are "NT" that you share a lot of the challenges that Aspies go through.

Communication is always difficult, but it helps when you can do it at your own time and pace. Good luck!

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Hi - do you mind if I join this thread? - my name is Sally and like you Gabbie, I am NT but have a boyfriend who I believe has Asperger's. We have been together now for getting on for 4 years - although we split up for 3 months last year - but carried on as friends in that period and then got back together. Since then we have been comfortable together, but we have lots of issues, and I just don't know whether I should carry on or just give up ! I want to understand the way he ticks so that our relationship has the best chance of working. Every time we have a blip - which always comes about because I get unhappy at the lack of affection/romance/sex between us and crack a bit - he says 'well, we could always stop'. Yet he doesn't just end it definitively either and I believe he wants to be in the relationship, although maybe only for companionship. We don't live together, and I am 54 and he is 46.

I hope that by listening to people who are diagnosed and who may have similar issues, I can assess better whether this is good for us both or not . I know this may sound ridiculous - to have to ask complete strangers how they would see it - but my belief in our relationship is like a roller coaster and always has been. However I am still here too , and that must say something. I have the same difficulty as you Gabbie - in having times when i really feel quite emotionally anxious, even depressed, and he doesn't understand it and can't or won't comfort me. I find that very lonely.

Sorry for long post - and hello to everyone.