Hi! I have been researching about autism specifically hyperlexia for a while now because I suspect that my 3 year old son has hyperlexia. He can read anything that is put in front of him and was obsessed with letters and numbers at age 2. He also has extreme sensory issues with his hearing. We are in the process of getting him evaluated. Anyway, just a couple of weeks ago I came across Asperger Syndrome while doing some research online. After I read the symptoms, I immediately looked up and said "oh my god, that sounds like me!" I have lots of the symptoms but not all. I understand that not everyone has all symptoms. Will you please read my symptoms and tell me if I might have AS? I know that it is not easy to diagnose if you have not met me but do I sound like any of you?
I am a 29 year old female.
Infant and young child - very shy, quiet, not very talkative, content to playing by myself. Never asking for much attention or entertainment, happy just observing.
Grade school - I could not make friends because I really didn't talk much to anyone. I could not relate to anyone. I did not know how to start a conversation or keep one going if someone started talking to me. I happily joined girlscouts but did not make any friends. I remember feeling very alone, even when I was in a group like girlscouts. I was pretty tomboyish although I was not very good in sports and was terribly afraid of balls coming at me like softball or volleyball.
Middle school - joined the band but still did not make any friends. I really enjoyed playing music but the social part of it really sucked. There were different groups of friends within our band and I could not find one group or even one person to relate to. I was a good student and teachers tended to like me because I was so quiet in class. But I really stressed when I had to give a presentation in front of the class. So much that sometimes I would skip class on those days. My parents were really big into going to church. We went every week and I had to go to the teen church group on Sunday's nights. I went for almost 9 years all the way up till I graduated high school and never made one friend. Went to church camps in the summer and never made any friends. It was all because of my communications skills or lack there of. I could not understand gossip or stuff like that. I thought everyone was so boring and could not relate.
High school - Still played in the band and finally found a girl that I related too. She really enjoyed band and music and we just hit it off and stayed friends throughout high school. I was still really shy and not talkative to most everyone else. I did have a boyfriend my senior year and we stayed together for a year. I still don't know how it lasted that long. I've always been very sensitive to criticism. When teased I always felt attacked, I couldn't tell when people were just kidding or really wanted to insult me. I cried at every little thing even when I would have the smallest argument with my parents. I still tend to cry too easily when I talk about how I failed or made a mistake at something. I have always been viewed as very emotionless. I don't get sad or excited when I should. I am still like this today. This is one thing I really wish I could change.
Adult - Anxious when calling people especially nervous when calling strangers, but I also get nervous when I have to call my mom and dad. I have to prepare mentally first. I rehearse what I'm going to say in my mind first. Sometimes I do that all day and maybe even a couple of days.
Often have a feeling of not fitting in, being different, socially awkward and not being able to relate well to people. Don't know what to say when it comes to small talk, especially in groups I usually don't know what to say, then either just quietly observe or drift away mentally. It's not like I don't like spending time with people, but I prefer talking to one or two people and mostly I prefer to talk about something specific, to have a discussion about some particular topic for example or to interact by doing something together, like playing cards or cooking. I can look people into the eyes although it's almost like I make myself do it because it is proper. I can't look my husband in the eyes when we are doing the "deed' I do have mild face blindness. We will be at a restaurant and I look at the waitress several times to order food and such. Then when my husband says find our waitress so we can get our check. I look around and have no idea who our waitress was. I don't remember the face. It doesn't happen all the time but usually with females. Males to me have stronger features to remember. I have been doing a few things since high school that I just realized are considered stimming. I have to be doing something with my hands, always. I bite and pick my cuticles till the bleed, bite my nails, twirl my pen, twirl my hair, tapping my fingers to music in my head, etc. I used to bang my head but my husband me about and I never realized before he told me.
I do not have any sensory issues at all.
I do not get preoccupied with one or only few interests. I actually have many things that I am interested in but never start any of them. If I do start something, I won't finish.
I am very disorganized but don't take the time to make lists or notes. Which I know would make my life easier.
I am always going over conversations that I had with people in my head over and over. I always feel like my mind is in a fog.
This post is way too long. Thank you if you got this far. I'll appreciate any comments that anyone has.
Stephanie
09 Dec 2006, 11:41 pm
