Dealing with Meltdowns and Headaches

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Hi! I'm new and just activated my account today. I'm Ellen, but go by Ellie. I'm 20 years old and have been diagnosed with high functioning autism. I didn't know this forum existed until last week, so it's comforting to know I'm not alone in my struggles.

As my first ever post, I would like to ask if anyone can relate to what I'm about to type and if anyone has any helpful advice they would like to share or pass on.

-For the past 3 months or so, I haven't left home. Along with autism, I also deal with severe social anxiety and spend a great deal of time away from society. My mom is upset with me and says I'm wallowing in self pity and need to "snap out of it" and "be normal". She was skeptical at the time of diagnosis and is in a constant state of denial when it comes to my condition. My mom is one of these people who doesn't believe in a condition unless she can physically see it. Her logic is that if a person looks "normal", then there isn't anything wrong. I wish I knew how to prove I'm suffering, but she won't hear of it and tells me I need to get up off of my ____. In her eyes, I'm just a lazy person who is too lazy to get out into the world and make friends. Couldn't be further from the truth.

I apologize for ranting...I tend to do that. lol

Two question I have:

1. Does anyone else get headaches when exposed to social situations for long periods of time? Every big event in my life has ended with a severe migraine or headache at the end of the day. When I stay home and away from social situations, I never get them. Back in high school. my prom date had to take me home 2 hours early because I got a crippling migraine from the loud music and flashing lights and started vomiting- No alcohol or anything in my system and I wasn't sick. I've had so many moments like this that I can't count them all.

-If you get headaches or migraines like I do, how do you cope with them?

2. Sometimes when I have meltdowns, people who witness them look down on me and say "That girl needs mental help- she's completely out of her mind" or say something mean like "We need an exorcist in here". Generally I can feel a meltdown coming on, so whenever possible I do my best to remove myself from the situation so I won't have to deal with public humiliation. The worst meltdown I ever had was when I threw my laptop (which I paid $500 for out of my own pocket) against concrete and completely destroyed it. I felt disgusted with myself for weeks, and I had been saving up for it. My doorframe is also cracked from a meltdown where I repeated slammed the door as hard as I could and couldn't calm myself.

-If you have severe meltdowns where you destroy your belongings, how do you calm yourself down without erupting?


Again, I'm happy to join this community and hope I can learn a lot!

I have not been diagnosed as autistic, but I do get headaches and migraines from social situations. Caffeine can totally get rid of the migraine, but beware if you are sensitive to it, as it can make you jittery and unable to sleep. I can usually get rid of a full-blown migraine with about a cup of coffee. Occasionally, ibuprofen works if the migraine is just starting. A smaller dose of caffeine may also work.

You can get prescription meds for recurring migraines. Immitrex (sp?) is great.

I get migraines occasionally. If I'm around a lot of bright flashing lights, I'm sure to get one. Loud noises and social situations will give me a bit of a headache and nausea, but not usually a migraine.

Do you have a plan in place for a meltdown? Maybe you could talk to a therapist about having a specific plan of action when this occurs.

A little compassion goes a long way when you're not doing well. I'm sorry people are mean

Hi Ellie! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. You are among friends here at WP!

I had a big problem with meltdowns in my childhood and into my adult years. They got less as I got older, but I still occasionally have problems. The biggest help in reducing the number and severity of my meltdowns, was when I finally was able to live alone. People are the main trigger of my meltdowns, so I try to avoid being around people most of the time. Because of other health problems, I am on disability, so I don't have to go out often, so that helps, too. I am an introverted hermit, so I prefer to be alone, which also helps. It would be very hard to avoid people to reduce meltdowns, if I was the kind of person who needed frequent social contact.

I have also suffered from shutdowns, but again, not as bad since I finally was able to live alone. I've been on my own about 7 years now, and for me, it's great! Stress is far less, and less often, and it's so peaceful not having to live with others under the same roof.

If you have to live with relatives, at least try to spend as much time alone at home as possible, but try to do stuff, so your family won't see you as sitting or lying there like a lazy lump. Do chores, study, read books, do hobbies, tend a garden, etc.

Hope this helps.

Welkome to WP

Mick

hey Ellie



same here exept for me its more like 2 years





yea i get those a lot to. i haven't yet found a way to cope with them, because of that and many other reasons I have quit mainstream school and started being home schooled, though i do get really lonely sometimes forums like this are the only places i can easily communicate (i do have my family to talk to but I have my anxieties and i'm still pretty bad at verbal communication)



yea it sucks -_- one of my earliest memories was of me in the middle of a group having a meltdown and everyone was looking at me as if I was broken or something grade 8 I left school partly because my best friend gave me a huge hate speech during music class because he thought i was gay, probably because I have extreme emotions and I usual talk with a quiet voice when i'm under anxiety or something (almost all the time)




I had a meltdown once were I repeatedly through a ps3 controler for at least an hour completely demolishing it

-If you have severe meltdowns where you destroy your belongings, how do you calm yourself down without erupting?

sometimes I try to smile and act happy (even though i'm not).

well that was the first time i'v ever opened up on a forum (and one of the few times i'v ever done so in my whole life) so i hope it helps
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Welcome to WP!

I have suffered with migraines my whole life and not until I got diagnosed did I realize that most of them were a result of AS. I have changed my lifestyle a lot and that helps but seeing a neurologist id your best bet for when they rage out of your control.

Its been a few years since I have broken anything from my meltdowns. I used to get physical with objects and people when pressed. Knowing your triggers helps a lot.

I am no social butterfly. I have always hated it. In my opinion, avoiding what causes you physical discomfort is a survival skill. Staying at home is one of the best things I have evr done for myself.

Hope to see you aorund the forum!

Immitrex was horrible for me. I took it once and would never take it again, no matter how bad the migraine.

Last edited by starkid on 16 Aug 2012, 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I can relate to your problem with your mom, my dads the "Stop whining and walk it off" sort.
I'll give you the same advice as I did myself, simply stop speaking to them, they aren't worth the trouble.
You'll never convince them that your pain is real.
If your mom is your only source of help that makes it a lot harder obviously.
Something that will help a lot if its a possibility is moving out into your own apartment.


I get headaches all the time when I'm stressed or angry, usually just a dull ache in the lower back of my head though.
Sometimes I get one that feels like someones sitting on my head but those aren't as common.

I've never had anything like your describing fortunately.
I usually just ignore it.
You could try tea, or a warm towel.
Perhaps 10 minutes with an eye mask and or earplugs since the headaches are caused by sensory overload.


As for the meltdowns, I had a real problem when I was younger.
When I was a kid I would throw things and chase my brother around, all of the sudden just be so angry and sometimes with no idea why.
Once I was in my mid teens, out of school"dropout", and able to lock myself in my room things were better.
But I still took my door out more then once.
Luckily I rarely had a meltdown outside of my home, though I did have a few.

Nowadays I rarely get further then some yelling and foul language because I've removed myself from a lot of the things that were leading to the meltdowns.
As far as I've been able to tell that's the only real way to avoid them.
Unfortunately when something in my life is going particularly wrong I still end up breaking something.

A possibility is to buy a punching bag, or one of those bending exercise bars, something you can hit/bend/throw that wont break as easily and make an effort to use that when your having a meltdown.