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So I've recently started suspecting I'm somewhere on the spectrum and been doing a lot of reading on it; but I'm still not sure. Sometimes I relate so well to stories and descriptions found on this site and others that I feel absolutely sure I have it, but other times I have my doubts. Anyhow, I'm sure that my brain works very differently than the average person's-- whatever 'tis I have or do not have.

Some aspects of the spectrum that I most strongly identify with and lead me to believe I have some form of autism are:

-Social issues: both a strong social phobia (though I've improved a bit), and an inability to understand very many social cues/mannerisms that come to most people naturally. I have improved somewhat by studying them in depth, as one study the rules of a board game or a foreign language.

-Sensitivity to bright lights

-Sensitivity to loud noises

-Various intense obsessions, obsessive patterns

-Intense emotions and feeling overwhelmed too much external stimuli

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At a very young age I was actually suspected of having autism by my preschool teachers. They told my parents about their concerns; and I was observed by some psychologists and given various tests. In the end, they concluded that I did not have autism, but I believe this was before the idea of a spectrum was very prevalent, at least not as prevalent today (1990-ish), and usually only what is considered "low functioning" autism was at that time diagnosed.

What made my teachers suspect I had autism was that I was absolutely silent and "refused" to play with other children, seemed withdrawn, etc. One of my memories of preschool was when some kid in my class asked "Can you talk?" I responded by nodding my head and mumbling "uh-huh."

Anyhow, the child psychologists observed that when I was back home with my siblings and playmates from the neighborhood (all of whom I had known for at least over a year), I was very happy, fairly talkative, smiling, running around etc., i.e. basically normal. And for some reason I just shut down 100% when I was in the preschool environment.

The other things that were revealed from various tests and inquiries given to me both at preschool age and continuing up to teenage years were:

-Obsessive compulsive tendencies-- though not enough to warrant a diagnosis of OCD

-Mild symptoms of dyslexia-- but not enough to worry about unless they worsened

-Strong symptoms of ADD (without hyperactivity)-- enough to warrant a diagnosis

-High IQ

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Anyhow, I've had a lot of problems in life despite being supposedly the kind of person who "should"-- so they say-- succeed easily (high IQ, mild mannered etc.) and over the years have tried to figure out exactly what it is that puts me so out of sync with the world. I had evaluated myself based on multiple books, articles, quizzes etc. and come to the conclusion that I was a high IQ, ADD, extremely introverted INTP with an especially high P leading to an extraordinarily high level of "analysis paralysis," with social phobia, high neuroticism, high levels of physical and emotional sensitivity, low self esteem and many learned negative thought patterns.

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Anyhow, autism/aspergers does seem to add another useful explanation to my personal cocktail of psychical abnormalities. In many ways it explains things so much better than anything else.

There are a few specific things that make me doubt my aspie-ness:
-The above mentioned non-diagnosis of autism
-I've always been very good at certain sports, and especially seem to have an extraordinarily high level of natural agility-- and I read that aspies are supposed to lack good physical coordination and be bad at sports.
-Some quizzes give me a high score, others not so high: the Baron-Cohen 36/50; the rdos one 154/200, and another quiz sometime ago put me at the edge of NT/Aspergers.
-Sometimes I read stories or descriptions etc. that seem very far from my experience, though the majority of aspy stories are very easy to relate to.

I'm sure this introduction is rather rambling and contains much unnecessary pieces of information, all the while overlooking more useful bits of information-- so please excuse me for it.

Anyhow, there seem to be some rather well learned folks on this forum, so feel free to offer any suggestions on whether my case does sound like aspergers or not.

Hi TE4751! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. You do sound like you are on the Autism spectrum to me--somewhere in the Asperger's area. The non diagnosis of Classic (low functioning) Autism when you were younger is correct. You don't have Classic Autism. However, back then Asperger's was just getting recognized, and few psych docs knew about it, or realized that Autism was a spectrum of disorders, so they naturally missed diagnosing you with Asperger's. As for your being okay with athletics and muscle motor control. Some of us are okay with that. Unfortunately, I am not one of them, but at least I'm not really bad off that way.

Autism spectrum disorders present differently in each person. That's why it has taken so long for the psych docs to start understanding it. No two people--even when about at the same place on the spectrum will present exactly in the same way. We each will have our own collection of the known traits, and each trait we have can vary in intensity from someone else's. As you can see from this, the condition was very complicated for the psych docs to get a handle on.

Based on what you described of your traits though, you are definitely on the spectrum, at the Aspie end.

Hope this helps, and remember, you are among friends here at WP!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Welcome to Wrong Planet!