ADHD married to Aspie

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Hi,

I am a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD in my early 30's. It was a shock because I was researching the condition because I thought my daughter had it (she does) and there was me on the pages.

Anyway, I met this stable, quiet, dependable (opposite of me) man a little over 6 years ago. We married and have been going downhill every since. I knew that I was/am part of the problem. It takes two to make/brake a marriage. I knew that my lack of patience and short fuse were a problem, but I also knew that my husband's lack of empathy, horrible communication, coldness, etc was not helping. We tried a few counselors, but they only saw my husband as "the good one" and me as the "bad one."

We recently moved to Texas and tried another counselor, mostly for me. After a couple of months, the counselor told me in a private session that he was almost positive that my husband either has high functioning autism or AS. I went home and looked them up and nearly fell over. There was my husband on website after website. It was as if somebody had been video taping us and writing about it.

I am going to the library today to get a book by Tony Attwood, but I was hoping that people here would have some specific resources that they have found helpful.

I gently brought this up to my husband and reminded him of his autistic nephew and the fact that he didn't speak until he was a toddler, but we have not talked about it since. I am letting it sink in for awhile before giving him some things to read.

Oh, and I went on Strattera awhile back and it has helped my symptoms quite a bit. What I am struggling with the most is the loneliness that I almost constantly feel and the bitterness that I feel for his almost total lack of verbal communication and attention that he has given my daughter.

Thanks,

Marie

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