This place is overwhelming

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Hi, I joined and made a couple of posts many weeks ago, but have just been browsing/lurking since then.

I'll be 58 soon, living in Brooklyn, NY, am an artist who makes a living doing stuff like photo retouching (intensive Photoshop work), and am also a gay man who has had a lifelong struggle with depression, feeling fearful, clumsy, different, freakish, damaged & disabled in some indefinable way, socially averse, isolated, inept and baffled, as well as beset by "executive functioning" problems and a mild degree of gender dysphoria, and am prone to spending lots of time at alone at home at my computer working on projects.

Luckily the shittier things I've grappled with over the years have reduced drastically in magnitude because of good therapy and good meds. I have many other autistic or Aspergery traits and traits that characterize people with PTSD, and am finally seeking a diagnosis after recognizing that I may actually have an ASD mixed in with all the other crap I've dealt with as time has passed, instead of just having had my heart mangled by my crazy family.

I come to visit these forums a few times a week, and am absolutely overwhelmed by the number of people and conversations that go on or have gone on here. I'm sure I've browsed through many hundreds of threads and posts here, watched a gazillion videos, recognize some names,and have been feeling out this community to see how strongly I might identify with others here, as well as attending a couple of real-life support groups and reading several books. My reaction to this place has been very strong and positive, although knowing I am at the older end of the age spectrum here is a bit weird.

I'm curious if others have been overwhelmed by Wrong Planet forums when first visiting. The irony of being overwhelmed by sheer volume of conversations here between people with ASDs/Aspergers is not lost on me.

hiya, Muntanmion welcome to our cool club
i was not overwhelmed, but i did happily explore like a kid who discovers a new cave to play in. i envy you your nice professional niche, i've been doing digital audio restoration for over 2 decades now but have yet to get any real bites.

Hello hello. You just knew someone was going to ask what "gender dysphonia" means, right?

I'm a NT mother of an adult with AS, and I, too, was overwhelmed when I first saw all these threads and discussions! I have to say that I admire you so much for the pro-active way you are dealing with so many different issues. It appears from what you wrote that you attempt to improve yourself, no matter what the problem. There are so many people who avoid therapy at all costs, and it is refreshing to hear from someone who "takes the bull by the horns" and gets on with it!

You sound like a fascinating person - and you're an artist, to boot! So, to your list I suppose you must add "dealing with an artistic temperament!" (Just a joke! I am artistic, and know the artistic temperament well!) With your go-for-it attitude, you must certainly be an asset in whatever you do.

Hi, redrobin62.

You can google it and get overwhelmed by info about that too -- you'll have a view into another kind of spectrum. In my case it means that I have a hodgepodge of "masculine" and "feminine" attributes and instincts, and on some days it seems like I wish I had been born a girl than a boy, but not in the powerful way which motivates some people to start out living as a different gender than they were assigned at birth, getting hormone therapy or sexual reassignment surgery, and identify themselves as transgender or transexual. Look through the LGBT forum here. Personally, I think wherever this is coming from (neurology, genetics, fetal development) is related to everything else I have going on, including my possible Aspergian nature, but who TF knows??

Hi auntblabby.

That is an interesting niche you've got. I've done some digital photo restoration which I'm sure has many similarities to audio restoration, e.g. digitizing analog originals, eliminating defects, repairing degraded sections, etc.

Hi Kami. I've worked my butt off over the years to be able to function in the world, be self-supporting, and see if it was at all possible to avoid the dark pit that claimed my mother— she committed suicide when I was 29 years old, and had made several attempts to do so when I was growing up. I know many people who have been affected by mental illness, mood disorders, or personality disorders in their families, both their parents and other relatives, and that's not even counting the folks I know in real life or online with things like ADHD, Asperger's, etc. There is also a lot of surreally bad and weird psychotherapy out there— the stories I could tell. Amazingly, it wasn't until very recently that any therapist I had seen mentioned Asperger's.

It's very admirable that you're here as a parent. Will see you around.

Hi muntanmion!

I felt the same way when I first joined. I stayed in the General Autism Discussion forum for a couple of weeks before I started to explore the other forums. Now I frequent most of them every day.

I didn't have the overwhelmed feeling. For me it was kind of the last hope for finding a forum community I could actually fit into, being myself. And when I arrived it was with resignation that it too would not work out and I would feel weird, ignorred, and some kind of inner anger/frustration would lead to arguements, just as it has in the other forums/chat rooms I tried.

But I have found this place, or I should say the people here, are significantly different from any other group I have been in. It's not like it's because people here have problems, as I do, because all forums are filled with people with problems. It's more like, that here I can much more easily relate to them and they are more similiar to the ones I have, or have had.

I really don't feel weird here which is very refreshing. OK, well maybe a little weird, but someone has to occupy the position out on the swaying end of the branch.

I find this place a bit overwhelming too, but now I've learned the sub forums I like to go to, it doesn't seem like there's so much, even if it is really fast moving; I can't read every new thread even in the couple of sub forums I frequent.

Welcome

From one audlt aspie to another...welcome and do follow the above poster's advice. It helps!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Hi all! Thanks for the encouragement.

Nymeria8, I'll have you know that I am so literal-minded that I actually googled "audit aspie" to see if that was some aspie-slang that I had missed out on. Did you mean "adult aspie"?

I think part of my feeling of being overwhelmed is my uncertainty about whether I actually am an aspie or not. I'm actually in the midst of filling out forms that a therapist who works with ASD people gave me to fill out before making an appointment. Some parts of these forms require some real organized thought and writing about why I am seeking a diagnosis and help, family history, etc. It's driving me bananas.