The anger and frustration which I currently feel requires the greatest amount of self restraint. It is easy to feel betrayed by family, by the medical community. I will not say that I do not feel betrayed, but there is something worse than betrayal, and that is a sort of mistrust that begins to rise in my mind. This is especially serious when one considers that the majority of individuals purporting to help me are neurotypicals. The majority of experts are neurotypicals.
It is a physiological response. The dog's hairs stand on end when it senses danger. The whole system goes into high alert. Frustration, anger, depression, fear. All of this, and more. One must not mistake these traits as symptoms of autism. They are not. It is much more likely that these "symptoms", are the result of stress and proximity to danger.
It has come to the point, where I can not be around others without becoming tense. Without being subjected to high levels of stress. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. Damn. I need to calm down.
14 Sep 2012, 1:04 am
