Hello- new here

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, I am a 25 year old female and think I might have Asperger's.
I am here because I am running into a lot of trouble in relationships lately (going on 2 years in a serious relationship- record for me, yay!) but I am so clueless. thank goodness he's patient with me.
I never liked kids or people as a child (same now) and if I had to always talked to adults. My mom wrote me off as poorly socialized because we lived in the country. I have a really hard time understanding why/how people feel ways, including myself. I also have an especially hard time caring about how others feel. However I am good at reading situations, but I believe this is mostly learned, I tend to hang back in a group to study people and interactions. I tend to do this out of habit, but its been pointed out to me more recently.

I suppose I am looking for guidance on how to fit in and manage relationships better, or where to seek help locally

Hi and welcome.

I am new to AS too and trying to make sense of all of this. Seems like a friendly board and I have been surprised by how much we all seem to have in common.

Si

Welcome to WP

I am actually new here, despite an over-active ammount of posts, and I don't really know an answer to your questions on where to go to find help. But if you are persistant I think you can find out a lot here and in general reading.

hi,

i'm 56 and have learned enough social skills, albeit late in life, that i have a happy marriage and am succeding in a social work job. in my 30's, i lost a medical career due to overhonesty due to aspergers. i learned to be fairly functional at small talk after the age of 50. please ask me questions if you like. i'm happy to share how i deal with things.

I'm also good at "reading" situations. Your post just made me wonder if this is learned, as well.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome to the site. I'm from your local area, but am not sure what type of help you are looking for specifically. I might be able to recommend a few people who would be qualified to evaluate you for Asperger's, if you are seeking an 'official' diagnosis, but in terms of support groups and that sort of thing, it is rather limited. I sometimes go to meetings of the GRASP chapter in Berwyn, PA and have met some nice people through that group, but it's quite a drive and I was actually considering starting a local meet-up group myself.

Welcome to WP!

While an 'official' diagnosis is nice because i can categorize it, I don't necessarily need it. I am looking more for help on managing my relationships with people. I do like having people, I think. its just I know that I often dismiss them quickly when I am bored in favor of doing something more interesting and I have a hard time making myself actually focus on people and not somehow offend them. I know it probably sounds stupid, people just tell me "just think about being this or that" or can't understand that my brain just wont cooperate. Sometimes I feel like if I fight what I really want to do, my brain almost shuts down (I've fallen asleep a few times when I was wide awake only seconds before).

Oh, and thank you all for all the welcomes!

Welcome to WP.

Can't say I agree whole heartily with this. But you will find people with similar views and problems, that will hopefully help you.

Welkome to WP

Mick

Welcome to WP, paintingclouds. Take a look around the site and you will find a lot of people with similar issues. The member area and making friends/social skills seem to cover these topics sometimes? You can look back through old posts and bring back up old topics if it helps you to discuss them more too. Nobody seems to mind.

I have some similar problems with relationships too. I like some people but I seem to get attached in a different way and people consider it emotionally distant. I have to really trust somebody genuinely to not always be distant, but it is rare for me to find anybody worthy of it, and when I do they always mess it up. I am equally notorious for not getting attached to very many things. So when a situation gets bad I walk away, and many people tell me that's a gift because they stayed when they shouldn't because they were too attached and logically knew the situation wouldn't get better. I have a hard time imagining being that way.
i am finding this a good place and I hope you do too.