Hi. I'm new. Self-diagnosed (so far, going to go for official diagnosis). My husband was online this week looking up information, and came across some Aspergers articles and read them and thought "This is my wife!" So, when he told me about it, I had to check into it myself. I took one of the Aspie tests and scored 167 out of 200. Took another one (one where it's more of a "if you get this high you have it"). The minimal was 32 for having Aspergers and I scored a 41. Last night, I was roaming around the internet looking for more information and decided to look at some forums to see how well I could understand the thoughts of someone who has Aspergers. I came here and was blown away. It was like looking in a mirror of my life and my quirks. Suddenly, all my "issues" made sense.
I've never been a "typical" girl. Always socially awkward. Had trouble in large groups, which, for the longest time, made me believe that I had social anxiety (I'll explain this in a bit). Numbers and patterns fascinate me, to the point that I've dreamed about them. I purposely look for patterns in every day life, and let me tell you, when I see the digital clock turn to 12:34, I get super happy. I don't conform to the norm. Not to say I haven't tried, but it always ends up in failure. I hate talking to people on the phone, and would prefer textual communication to audible communication on ANY day. I have a strict routine of NO ROUTINE because I find that I try routines, and they work for about a day, but with the life that my husband and I live, every day changes and if my routine is messed up, then it bothers me to no end, so I've given up having a routine at all. The littlest variance in my mental plans makes everything go awry.
I thrive on familiarity. I do a lot of traveling, and when I do, I prefer to take the same route, stop at the same places, use the same payment, everything. My husband laughs at me, but it's just how I do things.
This past year, my husband and son were diagnosed with severe ADD. I went along for the ride and had my own work-up done, and they told me that I have severe post-concussive brain damage, as well as OCD. I'm wondering, though, if some of the signs of the brain damage could also be interpreted as Aspergers, as I know I've had ONE concussion before. I brought up what I believed to be my social anxiety disorder, and the doctor asked "Well, what makes you afraid in those situations?" and it kind of opened my eyes a little bit. I told him I wasn't afraid at all, just that large groups of people overwhelm me, even to the point where I will look at the floor as I walk in a mall just to be sane. And he explained that social anxiety is when you are AFRAID of something in social settings, whereas hyperstimulation is being overwhelmed by an intake of information. That completely blew my mind.
Well, now that I'm done writing my book of an introduction, I'll just say "Hi, you can call me Hill".
25 Oct 2012, 11:46 am
