Hello, new here looking for resounces to learn social skills

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Hello. I am a 23 year old female. I have NLD rather than AS. It is very similar to AS in certain ways and my brother is Autistic. I used to think I had Aspergers growing up, but when I told my mother I thought I had this she told me I was being stupid. She told me that a lot- had a song she liked to sing about it, my being stupid. Anyway, after I found out about NLD I feel better, more justified, in having been suspicious about having AS growing up.

I have problems with social skills. I don't get nonverbal communication- facial gestures, sublty, etc. It all goes over my head. I didn't even know what tone of voice was until I was a teenager. I would like to be able to make friends- its something I can't seem to do. I am married (newlywed actually) so I am not socially isolated and I do have a friend or two, but I can get lonely sometimes or feel left out. Other people throw parties and have people to invite. Not me. Not that I would throw a party, party, but a dinner party or tea party might be nice.

Anyway, I thought I would check out this site and see what I could find in terms of resources for learning about things. I did learn recently that flaired nostrils mean somethiing. Only I forgot what they mean. And I'm not sure exactly what flaired nostrils look like, or how to recognize them. And then, even if I did somehow manage to do all that, what does one do when confronted with flaired nostrils? I find this all fascinating. I pretty much only know what people tell me. And that is about it. I don't get why people tell white lies about things like hair styles- I think this is stupid. I also need to learn about that. But I am good at making eye contact and I can pretend to be empathetic. (I found pretending to be empathetic helps. Otherwise normies tend to think I am strange and we have talk all about social values and blah blah blah).

Lets see... I have a BS in psych and creative writing from UIUC. I am working on a masters in Library Science- I want to be a children's librarian. I also work from home part time in customer service. In addition to NLD I have narcolepsy and fibro. Those keep life intersting.

Welcome to WP!! !

I hope will find what you are looking for here.

By the way, my mom has a master in library science and is into children's books. Also, she has fibro.

I think there are a lot of websites with guides about learning body language and social skills. I would have to make a search... No time just now but will try to come back.

I heard a lot of people learn these things from movies and TV. I do this, to some extent. Like, I learn what I think normal people do and think from the media, but I don't necessarily follow it all that well (sometimes on purpose).

They should teach non verbal learning as part of psych(I am also psych major)I would think it would make someone a better counselor.

Other commonalities....my boyfriend has narcolepsy and MS and my sis has fibro.

I cant believe your mom has a song about how stupid you are....bizar,I hope she is paying for any self-esteem counseling!! !!My mother recently told me ,she always thought I was intelligent and just choose not to use it.(That wouldnt be a very intelligent choice,would it).

anywhooo....welcome to the planet.

oh....flared nostrils(the nostrils ends get larger....try it).....means the person is going into fight or flight mode and the nostrils are flaired to increase oxygen needed for this....so,it is more physiological response to stress then actually trying to communicate...though,someone who can read it,would know to "back off",if they dont want a fight.

yeah, about the song, that's just UGLY.

My mother always told (tells?) me not to act stupid when I'm not, same as other poster...