Hello everyone
17 Dec 2012, 4:09 pm
I just want to say hello. I have a lot of questions. I met a great guy while I was visiting Canada I'm from the United States.i feel like we were meant to be together. I never met such a kind and great man after I came back to the states we talked on the phone everyday for sometimes 4 hours or more.i was falling for him very fast. I went back to visit him a month later was very good I stayed with him for almost two weeks then he came back with me to the states for three months. Things changed as soon as we were here.he became moody and argued a lot. If I was upset he would never come see how I was and he seemed more affectionate to my animals and spent a lot of time with them. I didn't know what I did wrong and I have to admit I have a temper and yelled at him which made things even worse.i didn't know at that time what was going on but was in live with this loyal and honest guy, I wasn't going to give up so I have been controlling my temper because I know he doesn't like to fight. Now I look back and I feel so horrible I wish I would of known about AS then maybe he wouldn't of been so stressed. Anyway I know I am rambling but I'm just trying to understand and see if anyone can help.i don't want to be inappropriate and I'm not sure if I'm in the correct area so please forgive me. The time I visited Canada for the two weeks we had a lot of physical intimacy which he was great but I did notice he didn't like me to touch him especially my fingers on his lips. I also noticed and he would tell me my cell phone bothered him it sent out an annoying noise to his ears.i also noticed when we were intimate he had a lot of quick jerks almost tics but I know he had several accidents in his past and pushed it off to his healed up broken bones.by the time we were in the states for those three months we were intimate maybe three times I started feeling like he was losing feelings for me that there was something wrong with me and then we would fight about that he would tell me I did not understand him and I was not in his head he also has a hard time telling me he loves me always has an excuse why he doesn't like to say it and when he does he says it like a joke it is very hurtful. So I brought him back to Canada and stayed with him for a week it was better than when we were in the states but wasn't like the first two weeks I was with him. He told me he was coming back to the states as soon as he received some government paperwork he was waiting for. It has been 6 months we still talk everyday but he makes me feel bad saying he doesn't like talking on the phone but that first month I would of never known that.he hurts me without even knowing at least 2-3 times a week by making me feel bad or not telling me he loves or misses me. When I cry he will say he loves and misses me but I don't want him to feel bad it just gets so frustrating missing him so much and feeling he could take or leave me and wouldn't care either way when I tell him that he again says I'm not in his head I don't know how he feels and will usually than end out conversation with I love and miss u. That is the only time though when I physically cry. I stumbled upon AS by accident yesterday and now I truly in my heart believe that is what he has. I kind of brought it up last night , saying that I was reading an article about an actor who I like that has something I think he has,it was late and I didn't know how he would react. I told him I will talk to him today about it and his response is should I unpack my luggage,he is suppose to come and stay with me within the next week or so but I hear this month after month. I told absolutely not. I want to work it out I have never been a quitter and I live him and in willing to do what I have to,to make this relationship work. I am hoping he knows he has it, so we can start to work on our relationship and trying to understand each other. I feel relieved to a point that maybe there is hope since I can try and understand.im waiting for him to call me now so we can talk. I just would like to know are there couples like us out there and is there hope. I love how loyal and honest he is even though he is hurtful sometimes and he puts blame on me a lot I don't think he means it but he can be very hurtful to me.the thing that scares me the most is I want to be with him all the time and I worry this will be the rest of my life seeing him for a few weeks or months then nothing for several months at a time I told him I want us to move together he gets mad because he says he doesn't like to have pressure and he likes to take one day at a time he doesn't like to look ahead even a week. He doesn't like to make plans ahead of time. I also am afraid we will have no sex life I think he would be fine with that. I asked him if I make him happy and he said yes but I have to ask him for it he doesn't know when I want it but when does he want it I feel very ugly to him. What's sad is I have men that ask me out a lot and tell compliment me but the only one I want to say those things to me is him and he doesn't. I do have one last thing I know when I have been sleeping he kisses me before he goes to sleep but he doesn't do that if he thinks I'm awake. I do believe he loves me but is it a live that he will want for the long run and is it possible to have a happy relationship and sex life if we both agree to work at it or is this going to be very sad and heartbreaking. Like I said I think he could walk away from me and be ok with never talking to me again and that hurts so much. Anyway everybody probably hates me for this long ass boring post and will ban me lol I would haha. Please if anyone can help if there are errors my phone sometimes likes to writes its own thing please forgive me.
