Cringe

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Hello

I was diagnosed with A.S when I was 7.

I am 23 now and drunk.

I seem to get drunk a lot to numb my anxiety. The only problem is, being drunk usually leads me to events that make me cringe.

This includes being kicked off stage in the middle of my DJ set
Having sex with a latino girl that bled all over me
Telling lies to my friends that I can't justify in real life
And being over touchy/sexual with people I know really are not interested.

I wake up with a sense of doom and whenever these flashbacks occur in my head I flinch and have to sit down and contemplate how they may of not been a big deal

I've thought about counseling but I feel the problem is truly internal and I'm the only one who can help myself.

Hello:

May I suggest you reread this post when you are sober?

I would then like to suggest you have a look at the AA website so you know you are not alone and you may find something helpful.

Further, I would like to suggest counseling - give it a think, anyways, and preferably with someone experienced with AS. "Internal" reasons are why we go for counseling and the goal should be to not "fix" you but to help you work things out yourself - it is guidance, insight, and support - it might take a little looking. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It might help you with that uncomfortable cringe and help you get the most out of the good life you do deserve to have.

Short of that, there are self help books and you have an 'ear' here.

Best wishes , LM

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to Getting to know each other)

I wouldn't say I am an alcoholic and a lot of those AA style programs are rather heavy on religion and the divine which I'm also not into. I do not believe part of my recovery process will involve an invisible wizard and I will lose faith (ironically) if there is even the mention of anything like that.

In the sober world any tiny thing can remind me of something stupid I have done. Where as if I'm drunk the same thing happens but I remember all the great things I've done rather than the negative.

The only thing about this that isnt healthy is the affect on my physical self. Otherwise I would be drunk all the time.

Although I find life to be incredibly unsatisfactory the majority of the time. I get bored very easily. And I cant tolerate people very well.

Hello Oliveruk

I had a period in my life where I was heavily abusing alcohol. After talking it through with my GP she told me I was basically using it to self medicate for an anxiety problem and put me on some medication that would lower my anxiety without so many side effects. This medication didn't help as much as drinking did and I had to accept that at first my ability to cope with anxiety inducing situations would be lower than if I was using alcohol. You say "I feel the problem is truly internal and I'm the only one who can help myself", I used to feel this way myself (and am still inclined to do so) but when I try and rationalise it, 'internal' problems are precisely what many forms of counselling are there to help with. I can't envisage any way that a counsellor could help me (I've never managed to get access to anything useful on the NHS in that regard), but if i could see what helpful advice a counsellor would give I would be able to follow it already and wouldn't need a counsellor! I've read a bit about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, the common negative cognitions and way to use mindfulness to combat them and I have to say that that has helped my anxiety quite a bit.

"Although I find life to be incredibly unsatisfactory the majority of the time. I get bored very easily. And I cant tolerate people very well." Oh how familiar.

Welcome to WP!