Hello, I'm new and confused.

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Hi, I'm new here and I'm trying to figure out if I'm on the autistic spectrum. When I was growing up, I exhibited a lot of the signs, but I don't think my parents picked up on that stuff because of lack of education. If they did, they haven't told me.

As I met people on the autism spectrum, I realised (and was informed) that most of those things I thought were just my "quirks" or signs of being inept/awkward were actually typical of Asperger's Syndrome/Autism. I'm not talking about social awkwardness, because although it took me years to perfect my socialising persona, there are many reasons for this in people who aren't on the spectrum. But things like my obsessive personality, the way I perceive the world, my issues controlling the volume of my voice, the way I switch off when people are talking unless I put in a very conscious effort, my obsession with textures, smells and patterns, the way I use language, actions I repeat in certain circumstances, being unintentionally "rude" when trying to communicate, a wide, endless list of things that I logically knew were different to a lot of people, but I didn't know they had a name. I was just told that I was really awkward, inept and "weird".

By now I've learnt what to do and not to do, but there are many things I can't change.

It's not that I "want to be autistic", but I think I might be. It feels somewhat comforting to know I'm not the only person who perceives the world this way and does those things - whether this is because I'm actually on the spectrum or have inherited traits due to heavy dyslexia in my family (and other things which I don't think were ever investigated). So I'm here in the hopes of figuring things out. I've taken some of the tests posted on this forum and received some really high scores, but I know they're not a diagnosis, of course. I do actually fit the diagnostic criteria, as far as I can see, from both the old and new DSM. However, I'm not currently in a position to go and get assessed, and I don't think self-diagnosis is always wise because I'm not exactly a specialist.

So that's it about me for now - I don't know what else there is to add that isn't too personal. I want to keep this account somewhat anonymous because I'm worried about people I know coming across me here, as unlikely as that may be. But I look forward to interacting with the people here. You all seem great.

Sorry about the length of this post, if you've made it all the way here you're a hero in my eyes

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

i'm also undiagnosed, but feel sure i have AS. welcome to WP

Welkome to WP

Mick