As the title says, I guess I should introduce myself first.
After lurking on here for quite a while I was about to post about some personal issue but refrained because I assumed it wasn't the polite thing to do.
So here I go. I'm a 34 year old woman. Since I learned about ASD years ago I suspected I might be on the spectrum but I couldn't be sure if I was right. My mother used to work with children who were diagnosed with ASD (and as far as I can tell, some of them had other issues as well). To some extent I could relate and that's where I started suspecting I might be on the spectrum but I was still in doubt because I was not exactly like them. Most of them were non verbal or I assumed they were from what she told me, though yes, there were some exceptions. Being verbal to the extreme, I ruled it out but not completely. I still knew there was something not typical in my behaviour, I just couldn't figure out what it was exactly. I know I have been through ADD/ADHD assessment when I was a pre-schooler. I know my mother believed I was deaf at some point even though I learned to talk quite early but back in the early/mid 80's ASD assessment was quite different than it is now and wasn't as common. From what I gather ADD/ADHD was what they were looking for and since I didn't have any language delay they sent me back home saying I was just very clever and not to worry about it it (at least that's pretty much what they told my parents). It's only a few years ago that I got to learn more about ASD and that not everyone on the spectrum was non verbal or had language delays.
Yes, I am socially awkward, I have a really hard time reading social cues but I am far from being a shy person, I'm quite the opposite which is the reason why I was at loss at some point. I talk a lot, maybe too much from what I've been told. But being talkative doesn't mean I don't have issues. Being too talkative, especially about my special interest have put me in difficult situations numerous times. Not being able to get social cues has made it hard for me to make friends and when I did succeed in building up relationships, more often then not it turned out to be a disaster at some point. I have a hard time being a 34 year old. I don't understand how I am supposed to behave and what is expected of me. I have sensory issues, I can't sleep properly. I am tired. I am at loss yet I do believe I know now where all those issues come from. In fact, as I said, I've been thinking, reading, trying to understand for quite a while and I'm sure I got it right in the first place but just got mislead because of who I was comparing with and my lack of knowledge. Of course there is more to it than that but since this is meant to be an introduction I'll leave it to that.
02 Feb 2013, 3:08 am
