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Alandme
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06 Jan 2007, 3:31 pm

I just joined Wrong Planet. I am a senior citizen and my son is a mature
adult Aspie who has never been diagnosed. I am looking for people in
a similar situation to share thoughts with, and, especially for people with
Aspergers who are adults and functioning well who could share their
insights with me. Alandme



Tim_Tex
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06 Jan 2007, 3:34 pm

Welcome to WP!

Tim


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larsenjw92286
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06 Jan 2007, 4:19 pm

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you come to a conclusion that your son has AS soon. I think he does!

I hope you enjoy it here!


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paolo
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06 Jan 2007, 4:56 pm

I am certainly adult. I don't know if I function well. I would be glad to be of help to someone.



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06 Jan 2007, 5:05 pm

Hello and welcome to Wrong Planet.



Alandme
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07 Jan 2007, 1:03 pm

Thanks to all of you who answered my post yesterday. I am just learning to use this chatroom, or whatever you call it. I use my computer and e-mail a lot, but I never use chatrooms or blogs. I hope I am getting this right. I hope I don't offend anyone by my lack of netiquette.
I said I have a mature adult son who is an Aspie. The only person I have ever discussed this with is my son, and he doesn't really like the idea of being an "Aspie."
He doesn't like the idea of being "weird," as he sees it, and he doesn't like me to talk about him to anyone else. I think we have a pretty good relationship, after years of many problems, and I don't want to offend him at all. But he suffers a lot! Really a lot. He has anxiety disorders and a few other health problems and many other problems, but he is living a " normal life." He has his own place, he has an excellent job and enough money to live on. He is lonely and he wants to get married and have a family and regrets he hasn't accomplished this by the age of 40. To me it seems he would be better off knowing other people with the same types of problems to talk with. Does anyone have any advice?
Alandme



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07 Jan 2007, 1:34 pm

Alandme wrote:
He is lonely and he wants to get married and have a family and regrets he hasn't accomplished this by the age of 40. To me it seems he would be better off knowing other people with the same types of problems to talk with. Does anyone have any advice?
Alandme


I definitely agree that he'd benefit from meeting others who have gone through and are going through the same things. A lot of aspies feel like there isn't anyone they can relate to.

I do think helping him do this will be a little challenging since he doesn't want to have anythign to do with the aspie label. But if you can think of any way of introducing him to the site without alienating him (that's the last thing you want to do as it'll be even harder to get him to talk about asperger's in the future possibly), you should try to get him involved with Wrong Planet.

But be very careful not to overstep in a way that might cause him to recoil. I think it might need to be a gradual process.

i hope this helps.


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Alandme
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07 Jan 2007, 1:43 pm

That's just what I was thinking. I'm planning to try to gradually get him into communication with this website. Everything you said is sooo true. Looks
like I've come to the right place.
See, I think my son is the best person I know. I can always get the truth from
him, and he is really very kind and sympathetic, even though he might not always
get the mood of the moment. And he has such a streak of genius and inventiveness.
He is such a pleasure to know, and I wish others could see him as I do. Thanks a
lot.
Alandme



ridersmom
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08 Jan 2007, 8:37 am

My thirteen-year-old is in a similar situation. She knows she's different, knows she's on medication, but would rather not discuss it openly. Then I found Wrong Planet! So when she's sitting around doing her stuff, I plug in the laptop and connect to W.P. There's inevitably something funny, or a situation I can relate to. I'll laugh and call her over to read it and say, "Hey, that's us!" or ""That sounds familiar!" So far she's read a few and walked off--but hasn't been offended. And I've had so much fun with the nicknames that she's started looking at the more interesting ones--especially if they have her interests built into them. So she's mildly interested because of my interest. My hope is that she'll "meet" some people, maybe other kids, who share similar interests. Then she'll see that AS is not a sentence; Aspie kids can be cool. 8)



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08 Jan 2007, 8:55 am

ridersmom wrote:
My thirteen-year-old is in a similar situation. She knows she's different, knows she's on medication, but would rather not discuss it openly. Then I found Wrong Planet! So when she's sitting around doing her stuff, I plug in the laptop and connect to W.P. There's inevitably something funny, or a situation I can relate to. I'll laugh and call her over to read it and say, "Hey, that's us!" or ""That sounds familiar!" So far she's read a few and walked off--but hasn't been offended. And I've had so much fun with the nicknames that she's started looking at the more interesting ones--especially if they have her interests built into them. So she's mildly interested because of my interest. My hope is that she'll "meet" some people, maybe other kids, who share similar interests. Then she'll see that AS is not a sentence; Aspie kids can be cool. 8)


Thanks for sharing. I think that the way you're introducing her to Asperger's is the ideal way to do it. She'll come around eventually. And even many of the 'normal' 13 year old girls tend to retreat from interaction with parents so it's great that you guys are still able to share things with each other. I think having a caring parent really does make a lot of difference in how an aspie turns out. 8)

I certainly appreciate all my parents have done for me. And looking back, I even appreciate the "tough love."


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