Greetings and Salutations...now what?

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Hi there, not really sure where to begin, except to say that my mind is completely blown. I have been reading/researching this for a few weeks now after overhearing a coworker talk about me. (She said "I think there's something wrong with her-maybe she's autistic?") I must admit, I was hurt and upset for other reasons, but that comment really stuck in my head. After reading up on the subject and spending a lot of time checking out these forums, I am pretty certain I am an Aspie.

The question I am asking myself now is "Now what?" I'm 40 years old and was once diagnosed as ADD but always felt like this wasn't the full issue. I have been called a weirdo my entire life- now it is clear that the reason I am 'weird' is because my brain is different. I really am blown away by this, and have no idea where to go next. I have had so many jobs that most folks think I am just a super flake- but it isn't the jobs that were the issue, it was my lack of ability to play the games/office politics and the fact that I am far too literal and actually answer questions that are asked of me, with no comprehension of underlying nuances until someone tells me later that I was rude/answered a rhetorical question/etc. Reading these symptoms of Asperger's was like reading a breakdown of my life. Such a relief, but a little overwhelming at the same time.

Anyone else discover this later in life? What did you do? Where did you go for support? My family is not an option. Thanking you in advance for your kindness,

Fleur

Now what? - We welcome you One Delicate Flower in blossom to the Wrong Planet. I found out when I was 43 and it has helped me put my life in perspective. As for support this is a great place to start, check out the forums I am sure you will find something helpful there.

Cheers.

There are some good auto biographies about people who got diagnosed late in life. I liked Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey. At the end of the book there are pages of advice on how to self advocate and where to go for support. Also Asperger's on the Job by Rudy Simone is good for work. I can recommend more if you like, but yea this is actually quite common. I'm 35 and just got diagnosed although I started to feel quite certain of it about 4 years ago. Message me if you wanna chat. Good luck. Kate

Hi Fleur,
I've just joined here too. I've just been diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 50, so I totally get how you feel (and I was misdiagnosed with social phobia disorder ten years back but like you knew it didn't really fit).

Its a huge thing to have to take in, but its also liberating to finally know why you are that way, for me it has answered so many questions. And as the father of a six year old with Autism it means I can relate better to him than neuro typical people can.

Of course the down side to that is the realisation that Aspergers has made such a mess of my life in the past, and in that sense I hate what the condition has done to me over the years.

Lets hope that our recent discoveries will help us live our lives in a more enjoyable way than before, without the restrictions of feeling like we have to fit in with other peoples expectations.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thank you all for the welcome and the kind words/recommendations. I have been a little flummoxed by the apparent lack of resources in my location, so it looks like I will be coming here a lot for support and information!

Merci Beaucoup
Fleur

Now what?

THE END OF THE WORLD!

Fortunately; you have completed your move to Pluto within the allotted time

Hi Fleur,

Welcome! I am 39 and just got diagnosed. Reading up on Aspergers has helped me a huge amount, and suddenly a lot of things make sense.

Try to find out if there is a local support group near you, otherwise just read as much as you can and see how others cope. If you have a local library you should be able to order books through them. Otherwise reading through Wrong Planet will help, there are a couple of forums for 'older' people (who understand what it is like to have gone through this alone, before there was even a diagnosis to be had) and one for women (we sometimes present a bit differently to the guys, so some symptoms do not match the 'classic' picture) which you may find helpful.

It is a bit overwhelming at first. I keep having flashbacks of things I haven't thought about in years, and suddenly with a new perspective of having Aspergers, I can see why things happened as they did.

Anyway, good luck, and remember, there's nothing 'wrong' with you, you're just 'different'

Welcome to wrong planet Fleur.
I am new here myself and I can relate to your situation. I am not diagnosed but looking at criterias for Asperger's syndrom I can almost feel I'm reading about myself.

I do not know from where you come from, but I'll drop a few names around of people who did extensive research on Aspie's. It might help direct your searching towards something helpful, at least I hope. A well knowed Expert about Asperger is Tony Attwood. He's an australian Psychologist and he has worked with Asperger's for the better part of his career. He should have some books that might shed some light for you. He had a co-worker Isabelle Henault who specialized on relationships and sexuality but from the Asperger's perspective. If you're looking on these topics this might help.

You seem to speak french, you could message me in private in french if its better for you as it is my mother tongue and I could try answering questions you might have. I'm not sure I could be a big help but... who knows?

Have a nice day.

Welcome, UneFleurDelicate there are many people around here with similar situations, i hope you can find what you are looking for.

Thank you all very much for your thoughtful replies. I'm still trying to process everything, and it has been an exhausting week. :/ I shall endeavor to persevere- so glad I found this forum!

Fleur

I think I can relate. I was just diagnosed this month myself at 36.

It has been an amazing month of self discovery, introspection, and clarity. Suddenly I have a frame of reference that makes sense of so many of the events and struggles in my life.

While some days are filled with the burden that having Asperger's will never change, most days, I find peace in the knowledge that I am not alone, there are tools and strategies to help make things better.

Thanks for joining.

Sweet greetings to WPea!



Mick and Peahawk

Hi Fleur,
Welcome to this madhouse. I have also recently self diagnosed myself as an aspie (at the tender age of 64). The best thing is it gives one a context to explain your life and why you felt different. This is great, but there is no cure.

There are things to learn to make things a bit easier, the main advantage however is self knowledge. These forums allow us to rant, discuss, and explore issues with a group of people who are as nutty as we are.

I hope you feel at home here, and enjoy it
Murky buttercups